Question Author
I don't think it comes down to the rights of the postop, I think a prospective mate/mate has an inalienable right to know the initial gender of the person they are dating. A good way to clear this up is to make it clear from the *very start* what your original gender was. You may feel all woman, look all woman, but as far as a relationship goes, it's up to the person on the 'receiving end' to decide whether your original gender or the change are still relevant.
I asked this once before somewhere and was told that if such an arrangement was later disclosed, the transexual would be on the receiving end of a certain amount of violence by the deceived. A pretty harsh response, but if people are proud of their new gender identity, or saw the reassignment as rightly putting their body in conformity with their spirit, as it were, they should be only too happy to be open about it. If people have a big problem with it then that was their problem, let the chips fall where they may.