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Toilet training setback?

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B00 | 14:28 Fri 04th Apr 2008 | Parenting
8 Answers
Hello :-)

Mini Boo is almost 3 and half, and i thought we'd cracked this toilet training lark. However she's recently started weeing in her clothes and quite frankly couldn't seem to care less about it!

When she's done it, she'll kick off her trousers, underwear etc and tell me what she's done (like I can't see it!). I ask her why she's done it, she's a big girl now etc etc, but she just seems totally unconcerned. She knows it's naughty.

Suppose I should be grateful that she still poos in the toilet!!!

Any ideas why she seems to have taken several steps back? And how I can combat it?

thanks

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Hi Boo
Assuming you don't think there is any kind of infection or bug going on?
I seem to remember one of my girls going this and us trying everything - started off really sympathetic, then lost our temper a couple of times, praise, rewards - you know, all the usual stuff.
Then one day when energy was zapped she came in and informed me she was wet. Without even looking up from what I was doing said' well, you'd better go and get a dry pairs of pants then, hadn't you'. She wandered out the room in great puzzlement and when she came back in dry clothes i never even mentioned it. It happened a few more times with no reaction from us then just stopped.
Is there anything that could be upsetting her, a change at home or nursery? Or has she just been reading the book that small children seem to have - ' 101 ways to drive your parents to the edge of sanity'?!
Question Author
Hiya yingyang :-)

Don't think there's a bug going round, she seems as normal as ever in herself.

What stumps me the most is she seems rather pleased when she's done it! the normal course of events is thus....

Me : Where's your pants and knickers?
Her : Wet, I've weed (as she's grinning away at me)
Me: Why? You're a big girl now, you go to the toilet
Her: I know
Me: Naughty girls and babies wee in their pants
Her: <smug look> I know, some sweeties now?

You reckon I should tell her to get clean pants herself? Knowing her, she'll ignore me and go off to play instead :-(
Hi BOO
Maybe she wants to be a Stripper in later life Lol.
Only joking.
At that age, kids look for attention and they also start to become their own person, sometimes with defiance.
You could either ignore it altogether, but that is not easy.
Things have changed so much regarding children these days but a few years ago, one way was to leave clothes off them and allow them to run around in terry training pants, even when wet.
Children soon learned they did not like the feel of wet pants and stopped wetting themselves.
Sorry I don't have any other solutions but I mentioned this to a colleague recently who was having the same problem and it did work with his twins. They hated the feel of something wet next to their skin for a short time. Good Luck!
If she ignores you, just let her run around in the altogether for a while then say' what a shame. i was going to take you to the park but we can't if you're not dressed - oh, well!'
Definitely no sweeties after she's done it. As she is still quite wee, maybe you could make sure that are clean pants and trousers laid out on her bed, but don't make a fuss ( I know, i know - I never got the hang of not making a fuss when they refused to eat!! )
I know i sound like a really tough mum. I'm a softy really but one of my girls is a world class attention seeker and if i didn't take a no- nonsense approach to her, she would have the whole house running to her tune.
Question Author
Thank you both of you. The problem I have with leaving her bottomless is that she ruddy loves it (could be right about the stripper thing!) so doing that doesn't bother her at all, she really wouldn't associate being bottomless as 'punishment' for weeing in her pants.

And no, she doesn't get the sweeties, I just used that as a way of conveying that she really couldn't care less about not using the toilet and me telling her off.

Do you think this could be anyway connected to us no longer using nappies at night now? That's a bit hit and miss too, but I wasn't so bothered about that as we'd cracked the dry during the day malarky, or so I thought!!!
BOO,
I don't want to sound mean and horrible here, but I would not allow her to take her pants off for a few minutes. Let her know what it feels like to be wet, just for a minute or two.
Nappies nowadays are not uncomfortable on kids, and rightly so. but if she wets herself, then she has to know what wet pants feels like. She will not do it often after that.
Question Author
Not mean or horrible at all cruella, but the problem is (I do seem to have a lot of problems!!) is that she's whipped her trollies off before I can blink. Not even me at my maddest is cruel enough to make her put them back on again...lol
i had a similar problem wi mine. firstly its not naughty, frustrating and upsetting for you yes, but deffo not naughty. yor baby has allus had a nappy on, its all she knows, is your child at nursery?? if so you could encourage her by telling her that when she starts going on the toilet she will be a big girl and go to big girls school.also you could offer small rewards, like a biscuit or summat wen she gose toilet. to be honest mine would not have any of it, until he was nearly 4, he then woke up one day, took his nappy off and thats been it!! but i guess that =could just be luck. hope thats a some help, good luck, and try to stay posertive.
xxx

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