Shopping & Style0 min ago
feeling....
19 Answers
Down. Sombody please tell me a joke or two.
Not fussed if they're a bit risque.
Some how tonight feels rather off.
Not fussed if they're a bit risque.
Some how tonight feels rather off.
Answers
1 to 19 of 19
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awww soz youre feeling low, heres an oldie:-
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest biker in the face and says, "I went by your Grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine-looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your Grandma and she is good - the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell yo u something else, boy. Grandma liked It!" At this point, the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes, and says, "Grandad... Go home, you're drunk!"
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest biker in the face and says, "I went by your Grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine-looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your Grandma and she is good - the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell yo u something else, boy. Grandma liked It!" At this point, the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes, and says, "Grandad... Go home, you're drunk!"
bloke comes home from work and tells his wife to get him a beer before it starts.
He drinks it in one, then says to his wife to get him another one, in case it starts soon,
he downs that one and says gimme another beer before it starts,
She says, You come home with all your demands, wanting beer, well I think youve had enough, Ive been working today too.
Bloke says, Fkuc me its started already@
He drinks it in one, then says to his wife to get him another one, in case it starts soon,
he downs that one and says gimme another beer before it starts,
She says, You come home with all your demands, wanting beer, well I think youve had enough, Ive been working today too.
Bloke says, Fkuc me its started already@
teacher tells class
make a sentence
using the word dough
little janeraises her hand
in italy they make pizza
using
special dough
very good
says teacher
little harry raises his hand
my baby brother makes dinosaurs
out of play dough
excellent says teacher
little bob raises his hand
my mummy says dad is so useless
she has to use a
dil dough
make a sentence
using the word dough
little janeraises her hand
in italy they make pizza
using
special dough
very good
says teacher
little harry raises his hand
my baby brother makes dinosaurs
out of play dough
excellent says teacher
little bob raises his hand
my mummy says dad is so useless
she has to use a
dil dough
Brendan and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day Brendan
slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Mick quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Brendan to the
local hospital.
Next day, Mick goes to the hospital and asks about Brendan.The nurse says, 'Oh
he's out in Rehab exercising'.
Mick couldn't believe it, but here's Brendan out the back exercising his now
reattached arm.The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Brendan slips and severs his leg on another
bloody big saw thing. So Mick puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it
and Brendan off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising'. And sure
enough, here's Brendan out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Brendan comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs
his head. Wearily Mick puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and
Brendan to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Brendan is. The nurse breaks down
and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Mick is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in, to be sure.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dumb sod put his head in a plastic bag and he
suffocated.'
slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Mick quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Brendan to the
local hospital.
Next day, Mick goes to the hospital and asks about Brendan.The nurse says, 'Oh
he's out in Rehab exercising'.
Mick couldn't believe it, but here's Brendan out the back exercising his now
reattached arm.The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Brendan slips and severs his leg on another
bloody big saw thing. So Mick puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it
and Brendan off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising'. And sure
enough, here's Brendan out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Brendan comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs
his head. Wearily Mick puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and
Brendan to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Brendan is. The nurse breaks down
and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Mick is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in, to be sure.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dumb sod put his head in a plastic bag and he
suffocated.'
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1 to 19 of 19
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