advice

[richee]

my bf's best mate recently moved in with us, he is lovely caring guy,however, since he moved in, he and my bf spent lots time in pubs during the week, and both got drunk back. it happens avarage 3 or 4 times per week since he moved in last month. most time my bf suggested to go to pub or buy more drinks from local shop, and my bf drunk more frequent than his mate. so his mate said i shouldnt blame him, cause he didnt encorage my bf to drink, he only just followed him.
my bf knows i dont want him to drink too much, he tried few time to cut off drink, but all failed, now since his mate moved in, he got drink buddy, so drink even more than before. we had arguement last nite, he told me his mate's moving made him feeling better, coz he can go out to drink without hiding drinks from me. i dont mind he having good time with his mates, but he did drink too much, i feel at least when only two of us in the house, he will try to stop at certain piont most time, but now, seem all lost control. before i only need deal with one drunkhead at night, now i have to witness two drunk person in the house many times during the week. i wanna ask his mate moving out, but my bf was very p1ssed off with this idea, now i dont know what to do. i dont wanan him to chose between friendship and relationship, but i do expect he could chose me over acohols, i feel at moment hard to manage the relationships between three of us, each time his mate got involved, even because of my bf's idea, i still got annoyed by both of them, what shall i do now? i even consider to move out myself now.

[banjosister]

Hey richee,

You can never change anyone but yourself.

Your bf does not think he has a problem so stop tryin to rescue him. You have to decide if this is the way you want to live your life.

You have to decide if you can live with your bf drinkin this much as it does not sound like he is giving up any time soon.

Hope this has been of some help

BB xx

[RevFunk]

I lived with an alkie and one thing I will tell you now is that he won't change.

Don't end up wasting years of your life with the loser like I've done, get rid.

[zbearspirit]

Sorry to hear about your problem, you have two choices. You either put up with it and realise that it will inevitably get worse or you give him an ultimatum, that if he comes home drunk one more time, you will leave and never see him again. If he loves you and has feelings for you he will at least try, if he doesn't then he will continue to abuse drink.
Your choice.

[solitude]

I thiink the fact he said he didn't have to hide it from you any more says it all. You bf has a drink problem and no one can fix that except him. You need to spell out the situation as you see it, explain that it is not acceptable to you, and then tell him that he needs to decide what he is willing to do to make you as happy as he apparently currently is. His friend moving out will not solve your problems. Alcohol is the problem, not his friend. I'm a recovering alcoholic and it is quite obvious which path your bf is strolling down right now. Give him a chance to accept his problem; if he can't, run, don't walk, away as fast as you can. Good luck.

[gravitate]

hey you ******* i am wasted with a capital w. im so wasted i cant be arsed pressing shift when i said that. Rev sorry to get on your opinions but you must be a bit of a tw@t to say that unless your gay?