can my ex stay to see the kids?

[roxypoxy]

Me and my husband have seperated. i am on benefits. He lives away but would like to see the kids at the weekends. I dont want them going to his as its a long way away. Can he come to my house without me getting into trouble with housing ect? He would like to stay so the kids see him, it would be for 2 nights, is this allowed?

[pink-kittens]

When you are on benefits no one can stay overnight at your house - you can clarify this with your local office.
For example it's an urban myth that you can have a new partner sleep over for 1 or 2 nights and it not affect your benefits - it can and does

Saying that though I am refreshed to see that you and your ex are getting on in a way that can only help your children. It's great you get along so well you are willing to have him stay overnight.

[bednobs]

where i am in the country you are not allowed for anyone to stay "regularly" without informing housing benefit.
In this instance "regularly" could mean 1 night a month, 2 nights a week etc just smething that is regular. Ususally if you tell them, then they will reduce the amunt of your benefit, as if that someone were paying their share of the rent for thpse nights

[pink-kittens]

Bednobs - it's not area specific, you can't do it full stop unless you inform the DSS, council and the IR

[hammerman]

You'd have to check with your relevent DSS office but "regular" in our home town is more than 3 times a week.

Hope it works out for you

[pink-kittens]

hammerman, you are incorrect

It is not area specific. You cannot stay over for 1 night if you live in London or 3 is you live in Bristol - it is NO NIGHTS whatever county, town or village you live in

[Goodsoulette]

Well in that case Pink Kitten, why when I got investigated was I permitted to have my boyfriend stay over weekly and my brother stay over occasionally. They werent fussed about either and I told them everything.

We could prove that he didn't stay here often but I had no money deducted.

Regularity and the theory that you could then be getting more money from the guest are what concerns the benefits agency.

[bednobs]

i really think the legislation or whatever it is says "regularly" and then each local council interprets this rule, which is why you have to get in touch with your local council in order to find out what their interpretation is. You can do this anonymously.

thats why you are getting people saying different things. Really really the best thing to do would be to check with whoever it is that makes the decision in your area

[ojread2]

A fews back I was advised that whilst it was not possible for the DWP to monitor all claimants, it was certainly not allowed to have partners stay overnight. I fail to see how this rule can be applied in one area and not another. DWP covers everyone and the laws are not different from county to county. The rules and regs of claiming are the same for all

You could 'get away' with him staying over by not having any of his belongings in the house ie: toothbrush in the bathroom, a pair of shoes in the rack.

Personally I would call the DWP and ask them for true clarification

[pink-kittens]

I'm sure they did goodsoulette, but I suspect it was much more to do with the fact you could prove he was registered at another address - it's very easy to get out of it

It is still not allowed to have someone stay over at your home whilst on benefits, end of no matter what anyone says

[Goodsoulette]

I lean towards agreeing with you, pink. I think the set up above could easily be seen as scamming. I think if roxy worked visits up to staying every other weekend at her ex husbands she would learn to enjoy the break. I get a little bit of relief every now and then from my children and to be honest its nice to just run the hoover over the house without a two year old attached to my ankles.

[pink-kittens]

Agree whole heartedly goodsoulette

I think it's fabulous to see today parents who can and want to work together for the sake of their children who are paramount in situations such as this. Why can't the DWP, if the claimants are honest with them from the start, allow this to happen? (I can see why, just hypothetical) Just 2 nights once a month would allow the children to see that parents who separate can get on and in fact should get on, for the sake of the children? Have a harmonious relationship so the children are able to cope better with the split?

Parents like roxy and her ex should be applauded and I stand to do that. At the moment they are being penalised for wanting what is best for their children.

Mind you saying all that, I do see why the DWP will not allow it because, as you say goodsoulette, it is just an open invite waiting to be abused if it is allowed. There is no way it could be policed effectively, sadly