i dont think you should give her the choice, but just try and reassure her. maybe you could buy her a cheap walkman so that she cannot hear anything while it is been done. i have not been the dentist for 8 years as i have a fear of them. but now i have children of my own i make sure they are there for a check up every 6 months. i know its not always the answer but maybe you could tell her if she goes and has whatever needs doing done then you will buy her something, ot take her shopping, depending on your financial circumstances. i dont think you should leave it, you may have to be a bit harder on her explaining that she has to go but that you will not leave her side. i hate them so know how she feels, i wish my mom had benn tougher on me now as my teeth are quite bad at the back.