There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His father said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin
There once was a man from Cosham,
Who took off his 8all$ to wash 'em,
His wife told him "Jack,"
"If you don't put 'em back,"
"I'll stand on the 8a$tard$ and squash 'em!"
The once was a young girl from Norway
Who hung by her feet from the doorway;
Which worked out quite well,
'Cause when you rang her bell,
It actually turned out to be foreplay!
There was a young pikie from Herts
Who`s daughters were all brazen tarts
They looked like each other
Their dad was their brother
And they all lived with horses and carts
My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.
There once was a guy from 'the reef'
An ugly cnut with no teef
From the shade of his bar
He bored all, near and far
Causing nothing but problems and grief