in law trouble

[mr. piper]

my son(21) is courting a girl of 17, she is mature enough to be with him and we all get on well. trouble started when his previous girlfriend and her mom and sister beat her up in the street, the culmination of which was she had a bad beating, and the other girls sister was run over.

now her parents have forbade her to see my son and her mother caught her in my house with my son. although this was against their wishes i could if i had to reassure her parents that she was in good company and that nothing bad would happen to her whilst she was with my son, who is very protective of her and is a well liked popular person.

could someone suggest how i could help out my son in this situation? should i write to her parents or leave well alone? i understand their anguish in the light of the assault yet the problems are all due to these crazy women.help me i know nothing of parenting teenage girls?

[Louis]

I would suggest that you advised your son to get an injunction against these women! And that his girlfriend did also! Was the assault reported to the police? And was anyone prosocuted? Have you sat down with your son's girlfriends parents and discussed the matter? It might be an idea for everyone concerned to talk the matter over, to let thugs and bully's dictate your life or the lives of loved ones is letting them win!

[gypsy]

i think you should go and see your sons girlfriends parents ,,talk the situation through and possibly take out an injuction against the ex and family,,well at least offer to do that which will show you mean well,,,its a shame people cant move on when something is over and i guess the act of violence was just their way of revenge allthough extremelly silly,,one thing you have in your favour is the young lady is 18 soon and old enough to make her own mind up about who she sees,,allthough to avoid conflict within her family its best if you can at least talk it through with them,,if this had happend to my daughter when she was 17 i would have reacted exactly the same ,,as her parents,,but i would also have reported the others for assault,,hope you get it sorted,,,gypsy

[Le Chat]

If I were the parents of your son's girlfriend, I would not let her within a mile of him now! Her safety would be my prime concern and having the knowledge that your son had been involved with such "pond life" would not give me a good impression of the company that he kept. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I am looking at it totally from the point of the girlfriend's side.

The  advice given from others which is in fact answering your question,  sounds good but bear in mind that the paragraph that I have just written is how they will be viewing the whole senario!

[mr. piper]

you are correct kerris in some respects, in this case my son does not deserve to be harshly judged by the parents. forbiding her to see my son will probably cause lies and conflict and they will not know where and what she is doing that much i do know

[vega]

Personally, I would talk with the parents, and offer to support that the relationship should start back slow again.  Maybe dinner together, and continue with adult supervision, until she turns 18.  She is still a minor and maybe this will strengthen their relationship together, and prove if your son is true as well as the girl.  As a parent, I know that kids push for instant reward.  If her parents don't agree, talk with your own son, and have him confirm to respect what her parents ask for with his girlfriend.  Eventually her parents will see what kind of respect they have from your son, and the door will open.  How mature is your son?  Can he put a stop to his girlfriend lying to her parents?  He ultimately needs to respect them in this situation to win the love from that family.