joining the army

[pheniox]

hi im 20 years old and have recently joined the army basic training is tough but its made harder by the fact my family seem to feel im an embarrassment, i should explain they are devote catholic's who seem to believe im joining up to kill gods children, having rejected my faith a long time ago i tend to be the black sheep of the family, however they seem to of taken the abuse to new level by blackballing my mum and not talking to her any more, is there anything i can do to show them this is what i want and not just some rebellion against them, normally i wouldn't care but i don't think its fair taking their anger for me out on my mum

[daffy654]

You could point out to them that throughout history the Catholic church have been one of the most vicious during Crusades etc,they probably killed more people in the name of religion than any other faith.
You do need to speak to them and tell them what you have said here,that it is not fair of them to ostracise your mum because you have decided to follow your own path.
Good on you for not rejecting what you want just to please others!

[Lil O'lady]

No. You can do nothing. You don't choose your family. All you can do is love your mum and to blazes with the rest of them. You will make your own 'family' around you as you go through life and hese will be people you like and who like you. Oh, and remember never to do this to your own children - I'm sure you won't.
Life is not fair and people don't act fairly, as a rule. And part of the responsibility for managing the family's responses lies with your mum - she is a grown-up and does not have to pay any heed to these negative bigots.

[Velvetee]

Tell them they're not behaving in a very Christian way. What would the Virgin Mary think of their behaviour.

Tell them about loving their neighbours and doing unto to others as they would have done unto themselves.

They sound like a bunch of hypocrites, which seems to be the norm within communities who claim to be God fearing.

[pheniox]

ive tried talking to them, i sat them down at a family dinner and explained that i would happily have the family ignore me if it meant they didnt take their misdirected rage out on my mum, well it went kind of well however it was a somewhat hollow victory, basically they agreed to not take it out on my mu and said they were just trying to make sure i didnt make a huge mistake by killing people and wasting gods gift of life to me, which at the end of the day was alot more than i expected, however i did make it clear that this was a family only event as the things i had to say were personal however my uncle who seems to run my family decided to bring a friend, who decided to pass judgement on me and make his opinion heard so i did the adult thing and took him outside and punched him in the face i think it was a combination of the solider in me and years of abuse from my family, so anyway the long and short of it is that they are now leaving my mum alone but have redoubled their efforts on me and i must admit some advice on how to get them to leave me alone would be helpful

[daffy654]

I think you just have to ignore them really,they are not going to change their opinion of the army being a bad thing.I would like to know who they think is going to protect them though if we had another war like WW2. God is not going to be there to prevent them being killed but the army,navy air force will!
I'm not sure you should have punched the dinner guest,but it did make me laugh out loud when I read that bit of your message :-)

[sense4all]

Although I come frome a 'Forces family' I have to admit I would not be thrilled at the prospect of my son joining the army, but would have to respect his choice to do so.

I would hit them where it hurts - right in the Pulpit! How about sounding out their Parish priest on his views ... and get him to give a special mention on, at least , tolerance in his sermon!

[Postdog]

Can't offer any help or advice I'm afraid, but it does seem ridiculous. A great many past and present conflicts are in the name of religion, and it wasn't that long ago in the UK there was a little disagreement between Catholics and Protestants.

[naflharrison]

u no what sod them thats what i say and the previous posted answer is right it wasnt that logn ago that there was conflict between prod and catholics, its still happening, i live in northern ireland and am prodestant and in no way bitter. both sides fight against each other still and fight amongst their own religion. we as prods are not saints and im not proud of the things that prodestant terrorists have done but catholic terrorists do exsist and its overlooked when catholic members of parliment are pictured in papers carrying coffins of ex-ira people who have died etc. i think you should be proud of what you are doing, its the most challenging but rewarding job in the world and we should all be greatful to soldiers who are risking their lives for us. enjoy your career and dont look back.

[Whoever]

I think you need to point out to them that the modern British Army fulfills a large number of tasks, including providing rescue services and humitarian aid to all kinds of groups of humanity and is not just about defending the realm.

You are providing a valuable service to your country and once day, there might just be a reason why they would be grateful for you and your fellow soldiers providing the services which you do.

I don't think you can easily deflect them from their ignorance but regular updates to them on some of the more non-military services in which you are engaged may help them understand that a modern army fulfills a variety of roles, and isn't just about fighting wars. Keep in close touch with your Mum and give her lots of support. If she believes in what you are doing, they will eventually realise that they are wasting their time trying to make her suffer for something which is beyond her control.

[puddicat]

Get a life! why join the army or any force when you peeps decide if it suits!!!!!!

[terambulan]

this is cobblers......there are lots of catholics in the army. Catholics have no objections to the forces. Ur all being wound up by a non-catholic. My bet is pheniox is a fundamentalist or infidel!

[pheniox]

You would be right in sayin i am not catholic as i said i lost my faith years ago i however do not hate them or discriminate against them, i despise the fact that i came on here and asked an honest question and needed real advice on how to deal with my families warped interpretation of their beliefs, i was in no way implying that all catholic's are anti army and please dont brand me as some sort of catholic hating radical and frankly if anyone else thinks that then please speak up now, and as for the people who dont appreciate the armed forces, i wasnt asking your opinion anyway thank you to all those helpful people how honestly answered my question but as far as im concerned this seek for advice from you has ended due to the fact that obviously some people on here arnt interested in giving advice just interested in judging others