do or don't????

[oldgrape]

right i was adopted when i was 4 years old and last year i got in contact with my biologial father me and my son are going up to york to meet him for the first ever time.

my adopted mum has always said that she would help me contact my birth parents if i wanted to but would be heart broken and would find it so difficult

my adopted mum had a stroke 2 months ago and don't know whether or not to tell her about my dad or lie to her

what do u lot think???

[oldgrape]

just hate to lie to lie to her as she now thinks i'm going to devon am gonna have to make a right **** and ball story about what me and my boy did

[ChuckFickens]

I personally would tell her, I'd rather do it now then risk her finding out later when you'd have to deal with both the initial hurt and the deception. yes your adoptive mother may be upset but it is a situation that she will have been aware may happen since she told you.

out of interest how was it getting in touch with your father? i ask due to personal interest, I was adapted at about 6months.

[oldgrape]

my foster family made me a book all about the reasons why my siblings and i were taken away and they had details of my both my parents and other relatives with addresses i just phoned 118 it was as simply as that was lucky my dads parents had stayed in there original house 4 30 years otherwise don't know how i would have done it

[oldgrape]

meant to say hi to u both sorry very rude of me

[puss_boots]

I was in the same position as you about 30 years ago when I got in touch with my biological mother. I never told my adoptive mother as she always lived in denial that I was adopted, I only found out through another family member. Anyway if you think your adoptive mother will understand then be honest from the start, just reassure her that you will always love her and always think of her as your real mum. She will have known that this may happen because thats what does happen when you adopt. Anyway good luck I hope everything turns out for the best. puss x

[oldgrape]

thanks puss