Smacking children

[stonemonkey]

First off, I'm not a parent, but I was sickened by this.

My neighbour, who has 4 children, took me to meet a friend of hers. This friend has 2 children, and the youngest is a boy. He's like any other boy of his age (4) and gets up to mischief, but nothing terrible. When I was at this woman's house, her son was playing with stones near the path. He wasn't throwing them, just making small piles. She asked him to stop twice, but he didn't so she picked him up by one arm and started smacking him so hard I thought his arm would break. My first reaction was to stand up and get him away from her, but I stayed seated. She took him inside and kept smacking him. My neighbour's not happy and says it happens a lot but she never interferes. I asked if we could leave and she said yes. Her friend comes back out to the garden and says, "I'm surprised he didn't cry buckets. I was really smacking him hard." We got up and left just after that.

Is this as shocking to others, as it was to me? What the hell is she teaching that poor boy? Should I have said or done something? It's the age old argument of how can someone without children understand. That's one of the things that stopped me intervening. I still feel some guilt.

[growbag]

Stonemonkey,. I've only just seen your post so maybe by now you've done something.
Please, for this little boy's sake, report this woman. Too many times children end up dead, with neighbours saying that they knew something was wrong but didn't want to interfere.
Parenting is a very tough job, and we are all driven to the end of our tether at time, but what you are describing is beyond reasonable chastisement plus it is systematic. From the sound of it this woman is doing this all the time - can you imagine what that child is goingthrough?
If social services are alerted then they will be able to monitor the situation, and provide suppot and if necessary intervention. Reporting this incident to social services doesn't mean that the children will automatically be taken into care, but it does mean that the authorities are alerted. This child is presumably not yet at school, so it may be that there are no responsible adults he sees who can take action on his beahlf. You know that it's wrong, and you know what you need to do. Please phone social services or the NSPCC, anonymously if necessary. I know it's a hard thing to do but please do it anyway.

[stonemonkey]

Thank you all for your replies. I spoke to my sister in law who is a nurse. As I knew she would, she told me about the huge number of children who are brought into A & E every day with horrific injuries inflicted by their parents.

My neighbour wants to sit on the fence, because she doesn't want to lose this woman's friendship. As for me, I'm glad she isn't my friend in the first place. I did report my concerns, and unfortunately will not be kept informed of what happens now. I was assured that I had done the right thing, but I feel slighty sick.

[growbag]

Hi stonemonkey
well done, you have absolutely done the right thing. Please don't feel guilty, you know now that someone has been alerted to it and can take the appropriate action. No, you won't be told the outcome because that is confidential, but you will know that someone is acting on it. It is really difficult for anyone in this situation, but you HAVE done the right thing. Well done, you.

[Marijn]

Stonemonkey, you're very brave. Thank you for reporting it.
I expect like me, other people reading this thread have been worried for this little boy, and now feel a little better.

[charleneashb]

i have a two year old and as everyone knows two year olds arnt the easiest to cope with. I am also a single parent and have a lot of problems at the mo but i would never lay a hand on my child. I hate smacking. its distgusting and parents who practice it are bullies. My mum suffered from depression and used to really lay into me and my brother all it did was make me scared to go home and i hated myself for a long time. eventually i grew up hating her and although i now speak to her i can never forgive her as what she has done has affected my adult life too. there are ways to discipline kids that dont involve hurting them and are actually more affective. the more you hit a child the more they rebel and eventually you will lose yor bond with them. I think you should report her to social services or that poor child will end up traumatised. kids have enough to go through at school without thier own flesh an blood turning on them at the drop of a hat. I do understand it is hard to get involved and to know whats the right thing to do, but that kid will be grateful when it stops.