spliff smoking partner

[annie b]

hi  does anyone have a partner thats smokes spliff. my boyfriend of 3 years smokes about 2 joints a day.  this is now starting to get on my nerves.  he is withdrawn and unable to have a conversation at times, and has no get up and go.  Is this a sign of the smoking ?

[wonky]

I did have an ex partner like this so i know what its like, in the end i got so fed up of the same thing happening every day i ended it, im sure you have fun now and again but i think you should decide if you want this life or more of a life. Smoking can cause people to forget things easily and find it hard to concentrate so you end up repeating yourself 10 times and they still dont know (or care!!) what your on about.

 

If he is willing to give up and you think it will happen then i would give him full support but if in reality there is know chance of this happening i would be out that door and really would not look back!!

 

I dont know how old you are but you should get out there have a life and find someone that loves your more than a drug!!

Hope this is helpful and i havent come accross too strong but iv been there and its not fun!!

Good luck let us know what happens x x

[Scarlett]

In my experience, yes. I had a boyfriend  who smoked dope all the time and he was like a zombie a lot of the time. Too chilled out to be partaking of life with other people. My sister's husband also smokes it and he gets completely mad- angry and irrational if he runs out. I also teach 17 year old boys, many of whom are stoned at College. More are stoned than not. They are very passive, giggly and useless. Anyone who says smoking dope does not affect their behaviour can obviously not see it from the outside!

[dirtyharriet]

I too had an ex who smoked dope, he became, lazy, uncommunicative, paranoid and unreliable. He also became incredibly childish and giggled with his dope smoking friends at their "private little jokes" most of the day.

I find it odd that it isn't considered to be addictive as I have known my ex scour the whole town if he was running low on his stash.
There is also a danger that your boyfriend may succumb to depression/paranoia/mental illness as this is a risk for long term users.
My ex was constantly looking out the window and thinking people were watching him.

You say this is now starting to get on your nerves, did he always smoke dope or is it a relatively new habit?

Only you can decide what to do, but anyone who takes drugs or drinks to the extent where they have no communication with others has a real problem and is not capable of having a proper relationship until they have sought help for their substance abuse.

[Snappy]

Both me and my boyfriend smoke about 2 joints a day and have done for 3 1/2 yrs. I go through phases where I get very paranoid and can make his life a misery! I also suspect I might suffer from depression but im not sure! My short term memory is crap! It doesn't seem to affect my boyfriend in any of these ways though. He is at uni doing a very difficult course and has no problems from smoking dope

[annie b]

thanks for your replies and every thing you all say makes sense to me. this confirms deep down what i knew he wont change and i cant live with his habit any more.  its a relief to know that others have experienced this and that its not me that makes him act like this.  its no fun with a partner who 80% of the time is a zombie..am gonna make changes !

[country_boy]

2 smokes a day is not a lot in the world of toking, but then it's all relative to tolerance and personality.  Pot is more mentally addictive than physically.  Anyway to answer your question, yes that is a sign of the smoking.  Give him a chance to bin it and if he doesn't then dump him, you never know, he may surprise you!

[undercovers]

why not compromise - tell him that you have to have "quality time" (as trisha would say) where he doesn't smoke and you too can have fun together - howabout asking him to only smoke during the week but the weekends are for you... if you can prove to him that he will have fun without smoking then maybe he'll cut down the rest himself.

[BigDogsWang]

I used to smoke quite often. When I saw my brother at the weekends in London, we could get through a number of doobies in one night. I liked the feeling at the time, as it does relax you and make you feel more social. However, when I got back to work on a Monday morning, I felt like absolute crap, and sometimes quite suicidal (I'm not kidding). Dope is a serious depressant, and since I�ve knocked it on the head my outlook on life has improved no end, and my energy has returned. My best advice to you would be to show him this post. Hopefully he will then realise that you are worried and do something about it.

[Snappy]

Its the routine of smoking that i am addicted to not the actual dope

[Englishbird]

er .. yes yes and yes.  And above all I found it SO BORING!!  My ex did change, the rule was that he was allowed to do what ever he wanted when i wasn't there, but that i didn't want drugs as part of my life.  He was pretty good about it, unless there was a big party and then he'd take something, and think i wouldn't know.  We spilt for different reasons, but as one of the others said, if he's not willing to change, move on.  My ex would never remember anything, we spent our lives either in front of the tv or in the pub. And you're certainly not alone. good luck xx

[annie b]

thanks to you all  your replies are very interesting and helpful !