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Why can't Scotties speak properly?

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whiffey | 21:03 Sat 05th Jul 2008 | ChatterBank
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I have just had a phone conversation with a Scottish person, and by god it was hard work. For me Scottishness is encapsulated in the simple phrase "the noo" which in real English boils down to "now". So why say the now when you mean now? I like Scotties, don't get me wrong, but oh gawd I wish they would speak proplerly and spel their words right.
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they are drunk from drinking too much Scotch.
Spel ??? Pot? Kettle? lol
that's whiffey for ya.
yawn yawn yawn
It's "God" Whiffey....not "Gawd" xxxxxx
Tell me about it whiffster.

I think it is the incessant rain which affects their vocal training or something.

But I am now scotch myself, so won't be long 'til I start speaking like one I guess.
abdul u love us

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