Help getting over someone?

[lovefoolb4u]

I'm not really sure where to start, but basically I have this male best friend. More recently than ever before, I've developed VERY strong feelings for him. I don't think I'm in love with him though, because from what I've heard you KNOW when you're in love with someone.

Anyway, he doesn't feel the same, though even if he did I don't particularly think I'd want to do anything about it since I'm moving away in September for uni. My problem is that I can't stop thinking about him. Thoughts of him have completely taken over my mind and my life. I can't stop thinking about who he might be with, what he might be doing. There's not much point in me going into all of the things that are going through my head - what I really really wish for more than ever is to be able to forget about him and get over him, and to finally relax and enjoy my holidays.

The strange thing is that I KNOW I could do so much better than him, and trust me when I say that he definitely is NOT worth my worrying. I remind myself of that all of the time too, but it doesn't really help. I've tried writing down reasons why I should forget him, and it helps temporarily but soon I just end up wanting to speak to him.

Does anyone have any ideas for how I could try to get over him? I have to let go. Preferably not involving going out and getting other boys - that's not my style at all. I'd really appreciate some help as my elder siblings have moved away so I don't have anyone to talk to about this sort of thing, and I know a lot of you are more experienced in these matters than I am, to say the least!

Thank you.

[alya]

I'm also trying to get over my ex and I must say its hard.
I found these love/relationships instructional videos and they have some good videos for getting over someone and braking up. Maybe it can help you
http://www.sutree.com/videos/Love_and_Sex/1251 5

[andy-hughes]

I really sympathise with your situation - been there.

What you are finding is that the two strands of the human condition are working percectly in tandem -

your rational mind is making lists of reaosn why this guy is wrong for you, and you are listening to that side of your mind, and knowing it speaks the truth but -

your emotional mind is ignoring all that and giving you a terrible time as it obsesses over someone you can't have, don't need, and in all probability, would hurt you - but still it carries on and -

guess which side of your mind gets to occupy your weaking seconds???

So - what to do.

If you are sure you don't want to try and form another relationship - which is sensible, you are not in the right frame of mind for new starts right now, you need something to get your head away from this man.

What about getting an evening job - bar work is always available - if you are bright enough for uni, that will be no problem. It gets you into a new circle of people, occupies your time, and even makes you a bit of money.

Try socialising on a superficial level with anyone you know - cinema or a night out somewhere, anything to break the circle of thinking and fretting - doesn;t have to be anything serious, in fact, the lighter the better for you.

All this will at least give your mind some time off from this situation, and once you get to uni, you will have far too much to do and think of to have time for him.

I know it's a wretched situation, but it will pass, promise, and you will get past this.

Keep thinkin that, and telling yourself that, and try to keep yourself busy physically and mentally.

Best of luck with this, and post here if you need to, any time.

A x

[lovefoolb4u]

Thank you very much for amazing answers! It's good to find people who can understand what it's like, and have experience things like it and got through it.

Thank you!

x