she lying to me

[blondie83]

One of my best mates (and housemate) has just blatently lied to me about something. It's something slightly petty but that fact is, I KNOW it's a lie. (and can easilly prove it) This was all via txt as she has gone out, so i'm thinking of confronting her tomorrow. But how do i handle this? She's like my best mate, and we've never argued, but tbh i'v know for a while what she can be like (as you may see from previous threads) but i suppose in a way this is the final straw. I don't wanna argue with her, or fall out, but the thing with her is, if i confront her, she will turn it around to me, make out that she's deeply hurt that i would think such a thing ect. (believe me, she does it all the time, which is why i gave up confronting her about stuff.) i really don't know what to do next.

[oldgrape]

is it worth even mentioning it unless it's a big lie that is actually going to harm or seriously upset you what's the point.

would help if u said what she has lied about

[blondie83]

It's a very petty thing, but it's the fact that shes lied (and it's not the first time i'v caught her out) All it was is that she got a spare key cut for our flat, but told me it was for her mums house, and acted completely shocked when i told her it opened our front door! Like i'm supposed to believe it was a coincidence! (I must add, there is ALOT more to the key story than that, but i won't bore you with it!!)

[wiggal]

Did you both have keys before hand!?

I mean, if you did and she is getting another cut, I would be more worried who it would be for, and who else could easily have access to your house!?

I mean, why lie and say it was for her mums flat, if you are just getting a spare cut to give to someone for safety reasons?

[oldgrape]

i wouldn't even give it a second thought myself sounds abit pety personally

[blondie83]

We both had keys before, and she has hers with her tonight, and had left her ''spare'' one here. A few months ago my other housemate noticed this 'spare' key and asked her then why she had it, she denyed it and the key dissapered for a while, and Wiggal, your exactly right, I'm almost certain that she gave the key out to someone. (I asked her but she denyed all knowledge and played the 'you know me- i wouldn't do that'' card, like she always does,) which is why i'm so angry that she's blatently lied again. Funny thing is, is that she keeps the 2 keys on the same keyring, so it's not like it's a spare, cos if she loses one, she loses them both.

[wiggal]

I think in your situation, I would be a lot more peed off then you are!

I dont see it as a petty thing at all, as she could give that key to anyone, and they could easily get into your house. And surely you have the right to know you and your stuff is safe?

I'd ask her out right what the key is for, who it is for, and if she cant give a good reason, ask for the key to be given to someone you both trust, like a neighbour or someone you both know very well!

[Eve]

Why not ask her to explain rather than confronting her.

Just say you're concerned and why and ask if there may be someone else coming in so you're prepared if you come home and find a stranger in the house.

Again, from her point of view, if you come home and find someone strange there you could end up calling the police or simialr which wouldn't be ideal if it's someone she's let in.

Maybe it's someone you'd be mad about being there, hence the lie. Has she got a secret partner, married, same sex etc...which she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about?

Maybe it's some neurosis she's embarrassed about.

There could be a reason, maybe she's scared of getting trapped in or out of the house or has some problem where someone may need to come in and get her.

There may even be something going on where she hasn't willingly given the key, like pressure from someone she doesn't want to admit to you.

[BillySugger]

A woman lying ? No! Surely you must be mistaken ? ?

[888sally888]

ouch Billy!!

I dont lie but my god my ex husband did!

[blondie83]

Yeah your right, I won't confront her or have a go, i'l just simply ask her why she had the extra ket cut and how can she expect me to belive it's for her mums, when clearly it's not.. She has no reason to have it, she's not scared of getting trapped or anything like that, to be perfectly honest, I think she got it cut to let a friend of hers stay a while back (a friend, who like her, is a compulise liar! - maybe thats why they get on so well!) But she never cleared this with me and my other husemate and denied it when we asked her, I know that she chose to get a cut hesrelf cos it's a decrotive key with her faveroute character on it. I think i'l just casually ask her later on.