how close does an author work with a publisher? what is the role exactly? a neighbour of ours recently had a friend visit, they met as she was her publisher. i would have though an editor would work more closely, not saying of course friendships cant develop in whatever environment!
The role of an editor is to ensure the text you provide is closely matched to the audience whereas a publisher assesses what will sell and how many should be printed, at what cost. often firms combine the two functions, and be especially aware of the editor/publisher firms who will charge you to publish your work (oh, but only initially...)
I would have thought that the author / publisher roles would most likely be described along the lines of 'avoidance / desperate attempts to contact' (pre-book being submitted) then 'desperate attempts to contact / avoidance' (post b.b.s). Having cosy dinners suggests all is well in their world. What's the book?