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I lost my post so that's why I haven't replied! Very deep thoughtful answers here from some. You're right,how do I know people are being themselves? I think I mean when I'm with one person and interacting with them,if we were joined by someone else,I sometimes feel I act differently and the other person notices. I don't mean in a way where I'd change radical views because someone had that opinion. Just know maybe I put on a "front" of cheeriness perhaps to the point of being irritating but I don't feel I'mreally that person. I agree,I hate it when people use being themselves as an excuse for rudeness. Prime example is on Big Brother where they seem to say that all the time as a reason for prejudice,bullying etc. Humans are continually changing and we can't just say "this is me" and not be open to change. Probably I think too much!