What am I to do?

[amos85]

I split up from my boyfriend of five years this year thinking I would never find anyone again and after about 5mths of misery I met someone. We clicked straight away and the two of us were crazy about each other. We only knew each other a few weeks when we found out something that shattered us. His ex girlfriend who he broke up with a few months before he met me is pregnant.
He told me first,there were so many tears. He said he could never ever deal with being a weekend dad, and his ex said that if they didnt make a go of things that she would move away and take the child with her.
I told him he will make a great dad and I hope it will work out with you and his ex. He told me even before we found out this news that they were never right for each other and he didnt love her anymore.
We both cried and cried over this and it has been the hardest thing ive gone through. I am crazy about him and now we can do nothing.
We both agreed we never felt that way about anyone before but we agreed to stop contacting each other,I think about him every min of the day still and its been 6weeks since ive last seen him,what am I to do?

[Diz]

What a great thing to do for somebody and although this is a difficult time you have done the right thing. If you had not let him go and made things difficult you wouldn't have had a chance of things changing for you. I don't want to give you false hope but if his relationship was so unhappy before I don't think a baby will make much difference and you may find that in a few months he may ask you to come back into his life.

If things don't work out this way just remember you have been through a break up before and come out the otherside finding a better relationship. You sound really nice and as my mom always says life has a funny way of sorting itself out. Good luck hope everything works out for you x

[Octavius]

It sounds like she pretty much blackmailed him into it by threatening to move away. If as said by Diz, that he comes back into your life then whilst it may seem to be a good thing, you will have to change your perception of the relationship you did have as he will be a father and may continually be at the beck and call of his ex-girlfriends emotional whims, in order to maintain contact with the child. You will need to satisfy yourself that this would be ok for you before recommitting to anything.

Again as Diz has also said, you have been through it once. There might become a time when you just have to accept that � rightly or wrongly - he has chosen his child and this woman over you. I know that hurts, but it is the simple fact of the matter. You have coped before and you will again. You are not destined to be alone, and I hope that once you have let the dust settle on this relationship you find another true love. It happens to us all at some point in our lives.

[4getmenot]

I;d say you are better off without him, a bloke that would run back to his ex that he doesnt love and cant get on with because of a child. Its not the way to be, you were very mature to have said ok have him and in the long run will cause less heartbreak. But what a weak weak man and an idiot, just because he's gone back does not make them a family

[Velvetee]

If he truely loved you, he would not allow his ex to blackmail him and would not go back to her. If she has any sense, she will come round eventually, when she realises it's important for his child to have a father figure in it's life.

It's ridiculous to "make a go" of a relationship that is already broken for the sake of a child. It's better for the child to have two content parents who are living apart, than two unhappy ones together. I think he has made his choice and there is little you can do about it unfortunately.

[sara3]

noble gesture, wanting to be a good dad... but what kind of life will the child have, watching 2 miserable parents? I'm sure it won't last.

for what it's worth I think he's being foolish, and horribly unfair to you. it's his decision, but I think he's got it wrong.

good intentions towards his child.. but a really stupid outcome.