misunderstood

[angryman2008]

does anybody else as they get older feel they have issues they havent yet dealt with? i feel misunderstood by a lot and find connecting with people hard and even when you do it feels forced or fake, like having to get on with colleagues. i sometimes feel as i dont look shy but i am, people think im rude or aloof when really id love to chat but find words hard to come by. i like to have somethin worth saying. rachel off bb is getting hounded for being too nice and not opinionated but id say i do have them but dont force them as much as others. just feels sometimes like life is easy for crafty people but a lot harder for nice innocents

[Sir Alec]

I know how you feel. I've never fitted in anywhere or feel as if I have any true friends, just people who take advantage of a generous nature. I found the book "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron a revelation. Pretty cheap from Amazon. I realized that I was not alone and it was quite a comfort. Take care of yourself - we're a rare breed!

[angryman2008]

so are we doomed with friends and lovers?

[stonekicker]

no - you just have to find an understanding and supportive partner who will understand your need to hide from all the @rses in the world and the need for peace and quiet - not high drama, high octane lives! other people are basically hard work. if you don't like it or can't be bothered, thers nowt wrong with you - you just like things simple! x

[angryman2008]

but are you not more likely to meet new people, and lovers if you enjoy the drama, im in my 20s but the lifestyle seems more like an old man. working 9 to 5 with no gf and not many local mates, its like working to exist. surely theres more to life? its hard tho to change from nice to bad

[NiceCupOfTea]

You're not working to exist.

Don't change. I've had a workplace where I've fitted like a glove, loved the job and then been told on a drunken Christmas work night out that I didn't really fit at first but they all 'grew to like me�, which came as a shock as I thought that they'd like me from the start.

Then I've had the job where I felt so out of place I wanted to quit and, when I actually left, at my leaving do was honestly surprised by how many people were upset that I was leaving - including managers.

You just make friends as you go along. Make sure you keep the people you like in your life even just by saying 'Hi' by text or something daft every now and then.

Just be you.

[terambulan]

I wouldn't worry too much......you got like-minded people on here!

These days your have to SHOUT to be heard but I couldn't be bothered as few have anything worthwhile to hear about.

[luckyman]

i feel exactly the same way...i put it down to low self esteem/worth......i cannot stand false people and i have difficulty speaking with people who are above themselves....i say it how it is..i wont change to fit in with the "in crowd"....lots of pompous areswholes on here to deal with!!! so just get used to it