bit of advice from a mom please.

[ELC92]

Okay, so i'm 15 and i really really do not get on with either of my parents. I would like to make this better, but have no idea where to start. I am quite independant, and have lost all touch with 'affection' with the parents. The main thing holding me back from starting afresh with them is the fact that i do not know how to tell my mom that i have been lying to her a fair bit recently, as i go out to various bars every week with a fake ID. I know she will go mad, but is there any 'good' way to break this to her?
Thankyou. x

[filibuster]

Sorry, but there is no easy way to break the news to your parents that you have been lying and going out drinking.
On the positive side, you are thinking of doing so, so that must be in your favour. You could write everything down that you want your folks to know and give the letter to them and wait for the fireworks.

I'm a grandmother and I can assure you that if you lose the love and care of your parents, you will regret it for the rest of your life. They are the people who will love you unconditionally and support you when others turn their back. But they need to have respect and honesty from you too so give them the chance.

Good luck.

[madamspud169]

There is no good way to tell your mum you've been using a fake I.D & drinking booze. They are both illegal & your parents could get into serious trouble as could you.

You feel you are a grown up yet to your parents you are still a little girl & no matter how adult you are you still need their advice & experience.
You could try just sitting down with your parents & talking to them about how you think & what you are feeling. If you can do this without getting stroppy or angry it will help you all to realise that you are in fact growing up & just maybe you'll learn something too about responsibility, true independence & morality. Your parents have both been through this stage too you know & not that long ago!!

[ELC92]

thanks.
i'll try and speak to them when its a good time.
you've given me the confidence i'm doing the right thing, thankyou.x

[madamspud169]

Good luck honey I hope it goes well

[lajohn]

I think I would start of with saying something like this -
"Mum I have something to say to you but it�s not easy for me to tell you this. It�s something you don't approve of and I know it's wrong and it's been bothering me because I�ve been lying to you and dad. But hear me out because I�m truly sorry I�ve done this and want you and dad to forgive me." And you explain what you have been doing and assure them you won't do it again.

[meresborough]

just wondering if the reason you don't get on with your parents is because you have been going out. its good that you want to try and put things right with them. as a mother myself i would hate to fall out with my little boy(luckily only 4 at the mo).
i have to say i did things wrong when i was a teenager, i was a nightmare, i lied about where i was going and went to a nightclub, got drunk and then walked home (how dangerous) !! i also ran away from home and smoked. i do have to say that i am not like that anymore and i am a very responsible parent who wants the best for my son.
if you feel you want to tell your parents that you have been using fake id then you should do that as you probably need to get it off your chest. otherwise keep it as a lesson learnt and start a fresh. we all do things we shouldn't do sometimes and sometimes it is best to keep the smaller things quiet. im not saying its good to lie to your parents just wouldn't harm to leave that in the past.

[twinny-15]

Your mum will probably have an idea of what you are up to...I suspected with my teenagers but we tend to imagine the worst .. if you are ready talk to them you may well find they are relieved with the truth..

[Ice.Maiden]

I agree with meresborough. As teenagers, I'm sure that most of us've done things that we shouldn't, but you now seem to be maturing in a good way. It may be best to keep quiet about the fake id, but write your mum and dad a note, saying that you're sorry for any trouble you've caused, and that you'd like to start again. try steering away from the bars until you're old enough to go in legitimately. There are lots of activities you could immerse yourself in - sports, a drama group, etc., and you'll be keeping yourself healthier as well. Best of luck.