My neighbour's always shouting at her kids, what should I do?

[nesi123]

I can still remember what it was like to be screamed at as a child. I really feel for these two boys nextdoor. It's deffinately a problem because of the obvious stress to my neighbour and her kids.

Up until about a year ago I never noticed her shouting but it's been getting steadily worse since then. I'm not close to her we just say hi and have a chat every so often when we're passing so I don't know if she has personal problems which are causing her to be stressed. Her husband is a really nice guy, he very rarely shouts at the boys himself. She also come across as a nice woman when you get talking to her. They're both really nice people with a lovely home and nice cars. He works 9-5 ish and she's a homemaker.

The summer hollidays have just started and it's like every 10mins I hear her screaming at them. It always seems to be for stupid things that could be resolved soooo much easier without the need for this hysterical shrieking.

In the last 2hours the youngest who's 4yrs old was shouted at for not holding his lolly properly and washing the family car toys from the paddling pool.

The older boy who's 8yrs old has been screamed at for dropping his ice cream on his clean shirt, knocking his 4yr old brother over in the paddling pool, bieng too noisy and rough with his brother and for asking why he's been shouted at, after which he had his hands slapped and spent 5mins or so sat on the floor sobbing...then he got shouted at for "screaming" ?!?!?!

My heart is breaking I don't know what to do. I'm not good with words and if I have a word with her I'll end up saying the wrong thing, she'll take offence and it might make things worse. I don't feel there's any need to phone social services because this could easily be resolved by good pareting tecniques. My mum told me to just march in armed with leaflets and a few recorded episodes of suppernanny in a gift bag but the

[unhappychick]

They have toys, a paddling pool and ice creams and a mum that disciplines them...sounds perfectly normal to me.

Everyone has different ideas on how to raise there children, they dont come with an instruction book and its not easy...I take it you dont have any children of your own?

[nesi123]

SUPERNANNY WE NEED U!!! LOL this seems to have turned out to be quite a debate in my absence hasn't it!!! How do u know ive turned out ok? I have as it happens but how would you know that from 2000words? The only thing that's happened to me is that I find it hard to control my anger. I frequently have to take 5mins for a smoke and a chill. That is it, not bad really when I think how I could have turned out.
I accept that children stressing mummy out a bit and mummy reacting is not breaking news and probably goes on in alot of homes, and shopping centres! But then again 100yrs ago wasn't rape, marital abuse and abuse of vulnerable adults condoned, even sometimes promoted as a part of a healthy mentality???
As human biengs we have come a long long way in 100years but i think when you think about it we're all past condoning a mother stressing out so much that she takes it out on her kids.
My attitude towards my neighbour is frankly out of order and it's taken you guys to make me realise that it's not her fault, its somewhat of a cry for help. Whatever it was, it worked we've been talking and right now one of the little terrors is playing tig with my dog while she's out shopping for her family. Things are going to improve, even if they're not battered and bruised I think it's right to try and help a fellow neighbour. Thanks again

[ethanryan]

hi nesi, maybe she just needs a little guidence, maybe you could do things with her like take a walk to the park and give her some adult company. i know when my close friends are on holiday etc i get quite lonely in the days and miss some adult company untill my partner gets back.
sounds to me like she maybe in a bit of a rut and some new friends may be what she needs. friends who are they to offer help not to judge her