How to pull in a nightclub...?

[qwerty7272]

I'm a guy and I've been single for about 9 months and it depresses me that I can't seem to meet people that I'm intressed in. Problem is, since then I haven't even kissed a girl let alone anything else.

What I reckon would get me out of this low point is being able to go to clubs and pull (just a snog on the dancefloor with a randommer - nothing more). I have friends, male and female, who seem to do this with little effort. I go clubbing around twice a week and I guess my main problem is confidence and basically not knowing how to instigate the situation. When I get chatting to a girl or know her I'm quite chatty and the confidence comes to me - it's just the initial meeting. I'm quite polite which I guess gets in the way - but when I've had a few drinks I guess it helps.

What should I say, what should I do physically to make my intentions clear? All I want is a snog - not her number (necessarily) so the least I can get away with having say the better I guess, with my politness/confidence problems!

Sorry if this sounds really primal but I just need to feel like I can be liked by the opposite sex - if only for a couple of minutes and when drunk - in a dark place! My friends can do it - I'm really not that bad looking either, apparently.

Thanks all.

[Thaisa]

Hello

I haven't been clubbung in ages....bit too busy lately, but as a female I can't offer you real advice on how to "pull" in a nightclub, each to their own really.

However in the past I have mostly felt more comfortable with a guy who is on the dance floor.A guy who is willing to be that close to me,well I wouldn't have had to even know his name providing he wasn't too drunk and was quite chatty. And at the risk of sounding *rather loose* there have been many times when I have kissed guys in nightclubs knowing that I wouldn't have to see them again if I didn't want too, because a)drink has a habit of blurring your feelings and b) an atmosphere in a club catches you up in the moment.

So all I could tell you was to have a drink, but not too much, hang around near the dance floor, chat randomly to a girl but a)watch first and make sure her boyfriend isn't nearby and b) I wouldn't target large groups of girls, normally just those that are in two or threes. Most of all remember there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, just be yourself and remember nothing that bad can happen, a nightclub is dark and you can leave at any time.

[Adrian'93]

Me and a few other friends had been having the same problem also until a few weeks back when I myself stumbled across something so simple it was frightening.
Smiling. Thats all it takes, if you smile at a girl you find facially appealing they will take a nice little hint, if the favour is returned, then offer to buy her a drink or just say hello. You could also ask if she'd like to dance, even if you can't that makes your chances of "pulling" higher, because you'll still have a good time even if it is just her laughing with you.

You may think its all down to confidence, and partially it is, but more importantly it is the company you keep, "wingmen" can cause a great intimidation to girls and they can feel a bit shy when they are present.

"Wingmen" are your friends who are by you, if you go to a nightclub be sure to only go in groups of two, you and another.

If you go over to a girl in more than that, it can make it feel like a competition, better yet go with someone of the opposite sex, a woman in your instance. This shows or at least portrays some hinting of confidence and that you are comfortable, or seem comfortable around the opposite sex.

This way, you now appeal to them as, a confident, happy man, and by what you wrote, not at all bad looking.

If the girl takes you by the hand and takes you somewhere you know youve done it.

Hope this has helped,

Good luck,

REMEMBER: Smiles, Confidence, Company,

No more than one other friend if you plan to take a shot.

Good luck once again.

Adrian.