*yawn*

[dannyday5821]

god im bored. so bored. bored bored bored. so bored im even boring myself being bored. someone say something interesting...anything...something to make me think something other than...

nothing. ah who am i to complain? its self inflicted...

[tiggerblue10]

Sorry if we're too boring for you Danny.

[tiggerblue10]

What do you want to talk about?

[Ice.Maiden]

Ah - use your imagination danny! Some days back, I started a thread about...nothing...and it generated about 36 replies! Amazing what you can do when you're bored! : )

[dannyday5821]

hmm...what to talk about...i dunno...can you think of something? the problem with nothing is, is that when theres nothing, and you keep searching through nothing, its very hard to find something. so...any ideas?

[pastafreak]

Soz...alll I can think of is....errmm..black holes=nothing!! (and vice versa )

[Ice.Maiden]

Tell us about your day danny! Has it been interesting?

[dannyday5821]

my day? hmm...i recall a film "american beauty" ever seen it? i feel like that - like him, Lester. around in circles forever moving yet forever static. and before he gets his brains blown out...she asked him "so...how was your day?" and he realises how so little he was asked that question....

wierd i should remember that....

anyways, boring day really. woke up, watched tv, wondered about and went to work...why oh why did i wish when i was a kid to grow up so fast?

still....its all about choices huh? well...to some extent....

[pastafreak]

Oh dear danny--are you feeling morose..or just reflective??

[dannyday5821]

reflective...and yeah a little morose. its funny...they say times a healer...wow whoever said that got it wrong so badly! effected by the past...the past was good...the timing wrong...what happened? dont ask me...ive been wondering that for what...8 or 9 years now!

sometimes i just wanna stand up and scream it out
alas...my personality is split, my mind divided, serving only to reinforce denial and the ability to doublethink.

strange...yet poetically beauiful this huamn condition....

[pastafreak]

Methinks you should be in Body & Soul......was it a relationship that went wrong for you??

[dannyday5821]

relationship? that would be easy. in fact - i feel i could deal with ANY other situation other than this - but thats just it - thats what gets to me, being unable to leave it to rest, to be able to bury it. how to put it another way...

ya know pandora's box? well lets just say it was given to me once when i was a kid - and i was stupid enough to open it...

[pastafreak]

mmmmmm...you have made me curious.....but you do not need to talk about whatever it is. But do know that you can always get good advice from folk on here.

[dannyday5821]

ah the "A" bomb - a classic. lol :P i appreciate the "advise" - but how can i talk about something i can barley admit to myself? an interesting little paradox there. its there, i know it is, but i wont acknowledge it...the wierd thing is...i cant even think it, let alone say it. some people say to even get it out in the open or admit it is the first step...how can i? is it right i should? is it fair? i dunno.

but its wierd - i remember vividly...sat there, watching. yet to this day i dont know why. i dont know why i did it. why i was urged to do it. what was it that made me so curious?

as with so many things in the world - i must have formulated about ten theories myself - all have come to nothing. yet i always think - what is the point of all this interlectualisation? what would i do with the answer? the more i think this way...the more i feel inclined to believe in a concept such as fate or destiny...for i remember the choice...but reason evades me...

[Ice.Maiden]

Sorry for the delay - computer probs! well danny - if you want to talk about anything - go ahead. No one's going to laugh, whatever.

[dannyday5821]

haha! yes laughter - huh. laughter. haha. i laugh, with a knowing smirk of the truth. its funny i suppose. i search for truth...yet its right there staring at me.

anyway - whats it matter huh? really what does it matter? who am i? im a spoke, on a wheel. and so are you. no matter what you or i believe in, ultimatley, it doesnt matter. we all bleed and die as easy as the next. we all live and let time pass. i dont expect sympathy or understanding, or even acceptance.

strange. they say depressed people always say "whats the point?" - did anyone ever concider that by them asking "whats the point?" the answer might actually be worth finding out? instead of those stupid overpaid doctors saying "ohhh heres some more drugs" or "see a councillor"

im ranting now. avoidance tactics. clever how the brain works huh?

[Ice.Maiden]

I'll belt this computer in a minute!!! Well I'm not sure what you're saying, but if you know the crux of the problem - can you not sort it out, whether it's to face up to something about yourself or others - whatever?

I don't think continued drugs for depression are wise, but for some people, they're useful in tiding someone over the worst of it.
Interesting that you should say that what you or I believe in doesn't matter. I disagree. It matters to me, so that I can pass on my thoughts about everything to my children, and then let them make their own decisions and conclusions when they're old enough.

[dannyday5821]

but it depends on the way you think. if you think about the bigger picture, in the sense that here we are, in a universe, a spec of dust. in relation to that, we are, and everything we think or do, we are - nothing. our actions relate to nothing. our achievments come to nothing. so what difference does it make that one individual has afew problems? afew conflicts? even in relation to the suffering of someone living in a war zone. what do my problems matter? who am i to complain? i sit here, in peace, with shelter, and air in my lungs. whenever i complain about my own situation, in relation to the universe, multiverse, whatever, whats it matter? our beliefs come to nothing. everything, is essentially nothing.