Tug of the kids then police cont....

[station4]

Heard from police they say I could have his mother and him arrested for public order offences and my ex for harrassment. But I thought what would that achieve ?cost me money and they probably get fine or caution. Only two really lose out would be my children. Anyway last night had another visit from police as he is saying I ran him over!!! What a joke can't believe how far this man will go......... ALso been on phone to solicitor she said can't get non molestation order as it cost �1500 - �3000 not got that sort of money. He only pay �200 per month for kids earns �30k and has my house!!!! While me and kids live in tiny rented house. Things can't get much worse!!! so now for trying to protect my babies I prob end in court - my word against theirs!!!!

[lil75]

This family sound like wrong uns, so to speak, if I were you I wouldnt even want my kids seeing any of them. Sounds like you do the best for your kids and then they destroy all your hard work of trying to provide a stable home and life!

I have been in a similar situation, and I decided to move away, I dont get any maintenance money and quite frankly, I dont even want it, I am more than capable of giving my son everything he needs, and if I were to take maintenance it would be a foot in the door to my ex to see his son, I would not let this happen as he has clearly used my son in the past as a way of trying to get back with me! Sick!

I think the best thing for you to do is to keep them all at arms length, dont respond to any nasty texts or any accusations, thats what they want! Keep out of there game and they wont have anyone to play with, they will get bored of it in the end, trust me! I even took the step of moving, it helped a lot!

Cant you get an injunction on him? He doesnt sound like a very good role model for your children!

[station4]

spoke to solicitor she said it cost about �3k money which when my house sold I will need to provide a home for my kids??? would love to get one. Can't move away until house sold as no money for deposit. but someone just suggested if he has moved out get someone to rent it until sold???

[MiniN]

what an awful situation.

is there any chance that you and your ex could sit down with a mediator to set some ground rules for the sake of your kids?

is he still saying he has disowned your 7yr old son?

[station4]

been there tried that unfortunately. But it all about him when he was paying maintenance he sees it as maintenance for me to buy clothes and things for me not to provide a roof over the kids heads. He thinks i should not have any money out of the house because he needs somewhere to live. This i agree but when my daughter sleeps in a room which you cannot even fit a single bed in and he has huge semi house with 3/4 bed all to himself. Honestly really don;t think he give a toss about his keds at all! why else would he be doing it - also to hurt me cos i had guts to leave him

[station4]

not been in contact with the kids since the incident on sunday! Never does call to be honest only to have a go at me But son now thinks it all his fault cos he misbehaved . I have tried to explain that no matter what he did it was not his fault.

[MiniN]

station, if its possible then, i think you need to start making plans to move away. your children don't deserve this upset and neither do you. your ex obviously doesn't have the kids best interest at heart.

could you stay with family for a while if they live in another town?

[lil75]

Cant you speak with the citizens advice bureau, im sure there must be something you can do...what if you sign the house over to him, they may be able to house you, and in another borough, away from him....in a perfect world we would all want our children to see there fathers/mothers if seperated, but sometimes it just aint worth the hassle and upset it causes for everyone, especially the children, to do that to your son in my eyes is dispicable, he sounds like he hasnt a clue on how to raise young healthy minds, hes more concerned about his own feelings...selfish idiot!

[Rosetta]

I agree with Lil. It wouldn' t do any harm to get more advice about your legal and housing options and to talk through contact issues between your children. The Citizens Advice Bureau could help you with this.
You are doing a grand job looking after your children and doing what is best for them and you, but it may feel very lonely for you at the moment. You need some support too and theCAB should be able to give you info on what support services are available where you live. The service is free and confidential and i hope you could feel confident in the help you get from them
I hope all goes well for you and your kids.Take care of yourself too

[station4]

Yes I agree he does only care for himself. Don;t see why I should sign house over to him I have always worked before and after kids. Why should he get to live in a nice big house while I have to rent. I want to at least make sure that I can buy not rent to provide a future for my children. Just can't imagine not putting my kids before everything, just wish he felt the same. Think he rather make sure i left with nothing to be honest think only reason he not torched house is cos his mother lives next door!

[lil75]

I would still pay a visit to the CAB, just find out where you stand etc, like Rosetta said its free, and you could find out so much more about what to do....good luck with whatever the outcome, but please dont respond to his insults/threats or whatever he accuses you of, its the best thing to do!

[Rosetta]

I have been thinking about this Station4, Eddie is quite right about legal advice and you should see a solicitor. If you cant get to see one straight away there are some people on here that could give you more informed advice.
Could I suggest you post a question in the Law Section where it might be picked up quicker by folks more knowledgeable than me. Rather than retyping the whole question you could put in a summary question with a link to this nd your earlier thread

[station4]

Just an update the police went to see him and obviusly the whole situation was my fault!!! Anyway he told them that he has a solicitor so will have to wait and see. I also have an appointment with a solicitor at 2:15 today!! Just want it all resolved so that we can both get on with our lifes. I can only hope that he gets some good advice and he realises that he is only hurting my babies!!!

[daisycup]

How did it go at the solictors?

[MiniN]

yeah, station, what did they say? can they sort this mess out?

why did you leave the house and not your ex? surely you should've stayed there with the kids?

[station4]

Would have stayed but he would not have left and if he had he would have moved in with his mother NEXT DOOR! I know bad mistake! Solicitor sending application to court today to force the sale of the house or get signed to me so i can sell also going to make application for residence order but says little else she can do!

[puddicat]

Getting a bit annoying now you have had advice, free advice, use it we cannot offer anymore!!!!

[Rosetta]

Despite previous post, I am interested in the outcome & in offering you support so let us know how you get on.

[daisycup]

Puddicat, that's not very nice. I am also interested to know the outcome and willing to give advice.