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keeping everyone happy

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lozzylou | 08:52 Mon 15th Sep 2008 | Family Life
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i knoe its early but we are all big fans of xma in my family and everyone is already trying to sort out who is doin what at xmas this year. how do i keep everyone happyth out upsetting people. we cannot have everyone over together cause some people dont speak to others and there will just be an atmosphere. we have my mom and her partner, my dad and his parter and my in laws. they all want to see the kids on xmas day and would all like us to go for dinner at theres. how can we be in 3 places a once. we dont want to go to the pub on xmas day and i cant cook so dinner at home is out of the question. how does everyone else get round it when it comes to family???
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Christmas is like a wedding - impossible to complete without grief!

The solutions is the same as well - accept that there will be grief, and act to minimise it.

Why not allocate Christmas dinner to those closest, and arrange for Boxing Day dinner time and night time to two other sets of relatives. Explain to everyone that this is the best and fairesty way to do it, and the stedfastly refuse to be drawn into any arguments / bickering / sniping, and concentrate on enjoying your time at each event.

It is the only way, trust me.
Hi Lozzylou! We've got the same problem this year because we've just had a baby everyone wants us at their house.... so we've decided to say stuff the lot of them its our first xmas with Nancy so we're staying at home! This might sound selfish as our families live quite close together but not close to us, and who wants to spend the day in the car with a tired 6mnth old?!! We've told them that they're quite welcome to visit us in the afternoon (after dinner!) or we'll go back and see them on boxing day!

What do YOU want to do? Its your xmas too!! and its only one day, 'the familly' will have plenty of other opportunities to see your kids throughout the year!

Anyway, good luck and don't worry about other people too much you, your partner and your kids are the most important people, everyone else comes second! X
P.S. our families aren't exactly pleased with our desicion but they've got a few months to come to terms with it and if they really care about us they'll respect our choice!
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hi k8, we always spend xmas dinner at my moms and we would like to this year to, as my mom is closest to my kids and is always there for any of us if we need her. bt the others now think we are being selfish as we always spend xmas dinner with my mom. my partner says he dont really want to spend xmas at his moms anyway but i cant tell his mom that.
i feel a bit guilty saying no to my mom tbh. there always seems to be a reason just before xmas that makes me feel bad, last year my grandad died a few weeks before, the year before that her and hr partner had split and this year my brother has moved out so she has no kids at home anymore. it is so hard.
Do the different famlies live near to you? so you can visit all of them one at a time, for example spend xmas eve and morning with mum then afternoon another, then evening with another.

I thought about you staying at home and have them come to you one at a time but I can see the problem with that is them not turning up on time or staying too long and then you have an overlap it's like trying to get your fancy man out the door before your husband turns up lol!

I 'm quite sellfish and just say sod 'em usually spending the whole holidays locked indoors away from the annoying relatives ha haaaa peace and quiet at last!
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all of them live within 20 mins of my house, the prob is my moms tner and my dad dont get on, my mom and my brother dont speak and my two younger brothers dont speak so quite hard.
i think we will just do what we normally do. morning and breakfast at home. diner at moms and party at my brothers. if the others want to come to the party they can as i dont care if they argue as its not my house. lol only joking.
lol just turn the music up!

Oh and shove some xmas cake in their 'cake hole' if it kicks off!
Hi Lozzy,

Oh dear it's such a shame that it boils down to this on Christmas day but I would be inclined to spend the day with your Mum as you say you would like to again this year, it only seems right you should do what you want to do esp if she is always there for you for support.

We're lucky as my husbands family live over 200 miles away so it would be one hell of a journey there and back in one day lol and I like my Christmas's at home with my husband and 2 children. My Mum & Step-Dad (my Dad died over 10 years ago) come over at lunchtime Boxing day and we open even more presents and have a buffet and loads of drink. We have always done this and it works for everyone.
I would hate to spend most of xmas day travelling to everyone's house, esp with a young baby.

It's your Christmas too, no-one seems too worried about whether you are going to enjoy your babys first Christmas, let them all visit on Boxing day or Christmas eve.

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