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custody of a child

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zzxxee | 16:38 Tue 09th Sep 2008 | Family Life
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my mate is worried that people look down their nose at her she id dvorced and her ex has custody of her daugter., the daughter stays with her two nights a week tuesdays and fridays , i have assured her if she was a man no one would bat an eyelid, the situation is better for her daughter because she only can afford a 1 bedroom flat her daughter is happy with her dad and step mum and loves her school both mum and dad get on amicably, and daughter age 10 loves her mum and has a great bond how can i make my mate whos an excellent mum feel better?
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m

Tell her not to worry, and hold her head up.ust reassure her that the people in her life who matter understand the situation, and the opinion of the rest doesn;t matter at all.

I can understand how she feels, but in this day and age, separated parents are increasingly common (sad to say) and a lot of families are in this situation.

Your friend is very lucky that all is amicalble on the home front, so tell her to put her mind to that, and not worry what others think.

The moral high ground is a crowded place, but we all live our lives the best way we can - and your friend seems to be doing just fine.
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thanks will pass on the good advise why is it men who have their kids twice a weerk are seen to be good dads mums who have their kids twice a week are unfit parents and the kids place is with the mother what clap trap
Tell your friend that she is a wonderful mother, and has got a wonderful daughter. The most important thing in all this, is the fact that the daughter is happy and settled. Your mate should put her shoulders back, hold her head up high, and stick her nose in the air, and to heck with some small narrow minded individuals.

xx
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thanx cupid will let her no your kind thoughts
Hey zzxxee,

My daughter went to live with her Dad for five years, she has very recently come back to live with me. She was happier (mostly) with this arrangement. I also felt at the time - she was 12 - that she was old enough to make her own decisions. There were no reasons why she shouldn't live with her Dad, so I didn't feel I had the right to say no because it wasn't what I wanted, afterall it wasn't about me.

I have had a certain amount of abuse on this site as people assumed all sorts of things about the situation. It was a long story and I was not going to go into the ins and outs of the situation. So people assumed she left because I was a bad mother.

To be honest I am not interested in what people think who dont know me or the full situation. As far as I am concerned I have always been there when my daughter has needed me and I am sure your friend is exactly the same.

At the end of the day if your friend's daughter is happy then your friend is doing the right thing.

Big love & hugs to you both

Bb xx
Her daughter is happy and loves both her parents - that's ALL that matters, what other people think is unimportant and she shouldn't give it any consideration.

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