Feeling bullied? Didnt know where to put this...

[Renoah]

I just moved into halls with 5 people i dont know. its 2 guys who are best friends and 2 girls who are as well. both pairs have sort of grouped up and formed some kind of stupid gang against me and this other girl whom i havent really talked to... Its only been 3 days. I thought it was just a clash of characters and that we'd just get on with it. But one of them has threatened me and accused me of stealing his phone which i havent obviously; he found it later. They all went out last night at midnight and didnt invited me, but said theyd keep it down when they came in. But they came home at 4am and shouted through the walls and threw things at my door, scratching/dinting it and such. I had to get up at 8 to enroll and didnt sleep a wink. Ive just got back now but im scared to confront them. Theyre all 18, whereas im almost 20 having taken a gap year. I feel stupid that i feel so threatened and terrorised in my own flat but i know its not my fault, i can honestly say all ive been is nothing but nice to them, i dont know what i should do?

[Sachs]

Hi ren, I feel it would be a waste of time trying to get inside their heads. It's obvious they are horrible! Arent there people you can approach in the Uni about your problem? The people you can go and talk to regards where you are.

[puzzled54]

Your uni should have a counsellor, go and see them , ask for their help in finding you different accomodation - don't be put off by thinking this is trivial, they are there to help new students settle in.

[Sachs]

There's no reason to put up with this behaviour, get your accomodation changed as puzzled said!

[Panic Button]

Agreed, it is unacceptable.

Is there a warden or similar in charge of the hall? Go and see him and explain what is happening.

[saxy_jag]

I'd go along with everyone else's advice here, Renouah. Talk to someone now. This early in the year, it's easier to get accommodation changed.

Also, nip it in the bud before it can go any further. I don't know if you've been bullied before, but if you let them carry on with it, then it will drag you down throughout your whole time at uni. You will look back on it as a miserable experience and the whole thing may even prevent you finishing your course. Don't let it happen!

These people are supposed to be intelligent young adults. It's why they're there. If they can't behave appropriately then they shouldn't be there, so don't worry for a minute about getting them booted out. Their problem, babe, not yours!

[Nosha123]

If you take the mature approach.. I would sit one or two of them down and ask them how they would feel in your shoes... Explain that you are all living together and that it wont be very pleasant if there is a bad atmosphere so they all need to grow up and behave like the adults they allegedly are!

if that doesn't work.. get your mates round at 4am for a party and give them a taste of their own medicine.

[banjobabe]

Hey Renoah,

I would suggest that you go to your Student Support Office who will be able to advise you. At the University that I work at they have students who will mediate and help with problems between students in the flats - exactly the type of situation that you have described.

The SSO will be able to advise you further.

Bb xx

[Renoah]

cheers guys, i went down and sort of discreetly reported what had happened and told hall manager guy that i felt intimidated by my flatmate. and he said if theyre damaging property they could potentially be kicked out. but i asked them not to do anything for a while. and im just gonna see how it goes. at least now ive told them, if it happens again, then i kind of already have proof so to speak...
thanks again everybody, i feel better about it now, ive been talking to the new girl, makes me feel a little bit more comfortable that i have a friend here.

[Jugglering]

That's the solution Renoah - find your own friends ! As the others have said, you do not have to put up with this childish behaviour from so-called intelligent adults.... and you've done the right thing in reporting it. All the best xxx