Film, Media & TV0 min ago
I am going to write a book. How is this for a first line?
8 Answers
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
This should catch the eye of the browser.
This should catch the eye of the browser.
Answers
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No best answer has yet been selected by redbreast. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I like it but I'd prefer to see 'Her' replaced by the name of the character. (i.e "Marie's date was pleasant enough . . .").
For what it's worth, I tend to start my writing with a quote (of either words or thoughts), so my approach would be along these lines:
"Not so much a film star, more a lowly extra" thought Marie as she smiled politely in response to her date's banal conversation.
"Yes", her thoughts continued, "if my life was a movie, this guy's name would be buried somewhere in those credits which are still rolling when everyone's left the cinema in search of real life".
Chris
For what it's worth, I tend to start my writing with a quote (of either words or thoughts), so my approach would be along these lines:
"Not so much a film star, more a lowly extra" thought Marie as she smiled politely in response to her date's banal conversation.
"Yes", her thoughts continued, "if my life was a movie, this guy's name would be buried somewhere in those credits which are still rolling when everyone's left the cinema in search of real life".
Chris
saying this with all due respect, Chris, but I think redbreast's version is better. Your version spells out too much too soon - you don't have to spell out 'banal conversation', it's implicit in the overall comment about being buried in the credits, or Marie's name, which can wait. For the same reason, 'Her date was pleasant enough' could perhaps be omitted (leaving it as 'She knew that in the movie of her life, her date would be buried in the credits as Second Tall Man.'), but that's maybe too compressed. The only thing I would definitely change is 'something like' - you're the writer, you decide how he'd appear.
Redbreast - seems you have sparked a debate ... for what it's worth, I love your version and the other suggestions offered. ....... but you said your version would catch the eye of the browser and I agree ..... this is the sort of novel I would buy and I am now intrigued to see how your story develops .... please let us know how it goes.
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