In the pub

[topogigo]

I was with my mate, who knew a girl that was in the pub, she is the female voice from the Navman Satnav.
I tried asking her out but she told me where to go.

[joggerjayne]

Like it

x

[pastafreak]

*giggle*

[joggerjayne]

Our local landlord had a dog.

When it died, the regulars had its tail framed and placed over the Bar as a momento.

One night, after closing, the dog's ghost appeared and asked the Barman to give him his tail back.

But the Barman said ...

... I'm sorry ...

... we're not allowed to re tail spirits after hours.

[topogigo]

You may have heard this one,
40 Pikeys turn up at the pearley gates. Sr.Peter says they can't go in but they start to play up. So he goes to the phone and tells God. God tells him to let 20 of them in and for them to sort it out amongst themselves. Peter goes to tell them then rushes back to the phone 'They've gone' Peter tells God
'The Pikeys?' asks god
'No' says Peter 'The Gates!'

[joggerjayne]

laughs

[dustypuss]

I didn't know that this was the jokes section but hear goes

What,s the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMT

You can reason with a terrorist

[topogigo]

She was omly the welders daughter
but she had acetylene t1ts

She was only the Admirals daughter,
but her Naval Base was always full of discharged Seamen

[carrust]

She was only the morse code operators daughter but she did it, did it, did it.