Accused of being unprofessional by colleague

[skellycog]

I had accuse me last week of unprofessional behaviour, saying it's clear I don't like her and that I think I'm better than her. Sure, she's definitely not in my top 10 favourite people, in fact now she's probably close to the bottom of that list. She gave some pretty imaginative (but inaccurate) examples of my recent 'behaviour'. I've basically brushed it off (though still quietly seething) as being the result of her own insecurities. The question I have is, am I better off just leaving it as is now or do I respond now that I've had time to absorb it? I'm concerned that if I don't respond does that mean I'm conceding to her accusations, or if I do, am I just stooping to her level? Help! Advice would be much appreciated.

[sara3]

I'd say you don't like her and you are better than her!
don't rise to it.

I sit opposite a man who hasn't spoken to me since March because I made a joke that he didn't like.

life is too short to get upset over arses like this!

[Davethedog]

What was the accusation? and who did she make it to?

[jen78]

I had an assistant who was difficult to deal with so I used to take her out for a coffee so we could sit down and she could express any gripes she had then we would talk about it .

There are times when what I say has to go but for the most part I'd rather a happy democracy provided all works well work wise.

We used to have some good chats, though with her it was never personal, she was just immature and didn't like to be managed despite her lack of experience. It's a shame but she is no longer here now.

Taking her out for an informal non threatening coffee to talk it through and clear the air may be an idea and, at least if it doesn't go well, you did something to help.

[sara3]

I tried the nicey approach with the man at work. his behaviour has been ridiculous at times and I've always been the one to initiate the "chat".. it blows over for a while but in March he really blew it when he told me that he just doesn't like me. I don't really see why I should be the one (again) to try to come back from that!

it's really not nice for the rest of the team, but I feel I did my bit.

do you feel like you need to do your bit? maybe give it a shot, but don't waste too much energy on it. there are some people you just can't please!

[Lil O'lady]

Bottom line is, you come to work for pay. If you get on with people and they with you, it's a bonus. However if you are doing what you've been asked to do and your manager is OK about this, the rest should be allowed to go hang. BUT if the person who is complaining / ignoring is preventing you from doing your job, for example by making you very upset while they are around, you must point this out straight away to our manager.
If it is your manager being a p1llock, yu must see their line manager.
Don't keep things to yourself but don't act anything but straight down the line. If someone says they don't like you talk to your manager about it.

[cassa333]

I would say it depends on what was said and who was around when it was said. If she just said it to you ignore her. If it was said in the middle of a room full of people then I would think about how this has or may impact your ability to do your job. IE does everyone else think the same? do they believe her or you. Has it rewind your reputation at work?