Andy Sugden storyline

[Jillius]

I'm finding the Andy Sugden storyline really difficult to watch. How awful it must be to be married to someone like that in real life. Have you ever been in a really violent relationship ?

[Parsfan]

Yes, but we had a really good talk and she doesn't hit me any more.

[twaflooers]

Hi Jillius

I have never, and would never, be in a violent relationship such as this. I have however been best friends with someone who was and to be honest after a while it became difficult to feel sorry for her. She was offered advise, help, support, but would she take it? NO.

She put up with the beatings time and time again convinced that he wouldn't do it again and that if she hadn't done this or hadn't said that then it wouldn't have happened.

How many trips to the A&E department does it take before you realise that being used as a punchbag is not love?

He was a small, pathetic, often drunk, excuse for a man and only bullied and hit her because he knew he could.
She let him get away with it and he knew that in the morning when he denied remembering what he had done she would make him his breakfast and act as if nothing had happened.

I'm afraid her bruises said differently.

[daniela31]

I would have walked out of the relationship the first time a man laid a finger on me.
And never given him a second chance.

[twaflooers]

Parsfan if you are true to your name then you deserve a slap ;-)

[Bbbananas]

Yes I have. Before it happens to you, you always think you would leave immediately if ever he hit you. That you would never put up with it. It's not always as simple as that, especially if you have children.

I am not a weak or pathetic person. I stuck up for myself - but I fought with words. I didn't put up with daily or weekly 'beatings' & I didn't blame myself for his actions. It was almost always alcohol that set it off.

After numerous but intermittent 'small incidents' over a period of years, I realised the 'incidents' were becoming more frequent and escalating in their seriousness. What happened in the end I felt was inevitable and a long time coming. I finally rang the police and pressed charges when he punched me in the face. But to be honest, the emotional abuse was far more painful and has more of a lasting effect than the physical.

He is not a bad person, just a person that lost control at times and did bad things. He was a good father. He has his own 'issues'. We are not together any more, but have a good relationship - the police involvement brought things to a head and I honestly believe he will never abuse a woman in such a way again.

[Parsfan]

Twaflooers - Supporting that lot is much more painful than any slap.

[juliacornwal]

I must say the girl who plays Jo is an excellent actress. Over the weeks to watch her fear rising slowly but steadily has been painful to look at, and her moments of blind panic really give me a catch in my throat.

I'm married to a man who is much, much bigger than me and when we were first married - which was a hell of a long time ago now - he was very strong, just like Andy Sugden. Fortunately for me he has a fuse that 's about 10 miles long, because I was always well aware of the fact that if he'd ever struck out at me I'd almost certainly never have got up! It's a scary thought.