When does it start to get 'easier'?

[haysi06]

I know that there is no time limit on grieving but in your own experience when did it begin to get a little 'easier', I know that 'easier' is not the right word, but when did you feel more able to cope? Not meaning to be maudling.

[sanden]

We go through so many emotions, and it is so hard. When I lost my grandson it was such a physical pain, and it felt like I was in a black tunnel day after day. I certainly didnt want to move on. There are so many reminders and so you are constantly thinking of your loved one. Time truly is the only healer.
My Dad died in 1992 and having seen him so ill my first reaction was of relief that he was out of the awful pain from cancer. Then I became angry because he was such a big part of my life it seemed unfair to go on without him, I wanted to share so much. After a long time I became able to remember the good times and think of him with a smile, but I think about him every day and am so grateful for the time we had and that he was such a big influence on my life.
Sorry to get heavy, but there really is no quick 'remedy' and no easy way. Its so sad reading all these stories, but hopefully we all help each other.

[ummmm]

Thanks Drisgirl. My Sons school have arranged for him to have bereavement counselling as his behaviour went crazy after he died. I thought I didn't need it but I now realise I was just putting a brave face on. It's 7 months now and I miss him more and more as time goes on.

[mrs_overall]

What lovely, kind answers.
The only thing I can add is that everyone is an individual and deals with things in different ways.
My personal experience is that there are bad days and not so bad days. Sometimes a "not so bad day" can turn into a "really bad day" by the most trivial of things. I found that certain milestones were hard (first Xmas, first birthday, anniversary of death etc).

The best advice I was given was not to look to the future, but take one day at a time. xx

[sanden]

Mrs O, thats so true - Christmas can be such an awful time when you dont have your loved one around and everyone else is having such a wonderful time, and as you say anniversaries are very difficult.

[haysi06]

Once again, thanks for comments, and sharing your experiences; I know how painful it is to do so.

I do count myself lucky that I had my mum for so long and do remember and think about all of the good memories, but recently I have been overwhelmed with feelings of loss and grief. I do know that it takes time and have spoken to a counsellor in the past, and think that I will do so again.

Hxx