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Help frind drinking too much

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legend.isgod | 11:42 Sat 11th Oct 2008 | ChatterBank
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How do you help someone who is drinking too much?
Ive got a friend , lets call her gerry.
Anyways she works in an office enviroment and theres a culture of going for pub lunches , well lately shes started drinking 2 or 3 glasses of wine with lunch.
Add to that the fact for the last few years shes been drinking 2 bottles a night , most nights of the week.
Thing is ive trid telling her shes overdoing it , but she just turned nasty.
Thing is since ive pointed this out to her shes kinda fallen out with m .
Id really liek to help her but feelshe doesnt want to help herself.
Should i just mind my own business?
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First she has to want to help herself. Until then you are wasting your time.
Question Author
Ive tried snaggy.
We used to be good mates too.
But sadly the drink has poisoned her mind.
She gets paranoid and mood swings , cant get into a relationship with a guy cos of it too.


Welll its too much like hard work innit?
-- answer removed --
You've tried... she hasn't... yet.

Move on.
Question Author
Doc shes nearly as bad as you on the rum.
Social drinking is one thing , but when you turn on friends because of it.Or take your moods out on them .

Well thats too much.
Does she have blackouts when she doesnt remember even who she is at times?
Question Author
Dris i dont wanna say any real details.
She doesnt come on here as far as im aware , but she could find ab whilst looking for an answer to a pop question , as many folk seem to do , and i wouldnt want to embaress her.
Im just hoping to get some handy advice.
Though i think its a lost cause now.
You truly are a caring friend -just be there for her -to pick her up when she falls,Thats all the advice I gan give -sometimes people need a wake-up call before they see they have a problem -perhaps she hasnt yet. Her judgement might be clouded by the alcohol.
Question Author
Well at one stage we were close .
Maybe that's the problem.I think she kinda wanted to be more than friends and when i said that wasn't how i saw her , well she kinda went deeper into the drinking.
Really i feel a bit responsible dris.
If only i suppose .

But you cant live your life thinking that .

I do worry about her though.
Don't give up on her...but DO continue to give gentle hints that what she is doing is harmful,and the consequences are awful. Let her know that you care about her well-being,and try to boost her confidence...which she may be lacking in. I,personally-would not want to give up on someone I cared about........friendship is about being there,and trying not to be judgemental.
alcoholics can only help themselves, she has not hit that low yet, just be patient and try to distract her away from that environment until she wakes up and smells the java
She has a drink problem. Any hurdle emotional or otherwise & she will always find drink a friend. You're not responsible & you know it deep down. Sad to witness, but that's life.
Question Author
Thanks folks.
Think ill close it here.
Not much folk can do , but reading the comments has made me certain ive done the right thing.

Thanks

T D H : 0)
Question Author
Quick update .
Gerry shares an apartment witha few others and yesterday was so drunk she fell down the stairs.
Shes got a keeker of a black eye and has had to wear those big sunglasses to cover over it today.

Even the folk she stays with have told her about the wine , but she cant help herself.

Fkin ell doctor leg she sounds worse than me.
does she come on here and make a bit of an arse of herself, perchance??
Question Author
No sara .Well not that im aware of.
But anything is possible.She can use computers at work as its a telesales type job.
Nuff said , i dont wanna be specific.


Anyways ,shes only hurting herself , glad i kept her just as a friend , i dont neeed that type of aggro in my life .
it's hard to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. be a friend, that's what she needs. we all like to help but you can't take on everyone's problems.
Question Author
Sometimes i wonder.
Theres usually a problem at the root of it.

I'm sure there is a problem, but if she doesn't want to get help you can only touch the tip of the iceberg. maybe the people she lives with can support her?

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