Wedding presents

[Andy008]

I've got to go to a wedding in May, I haven't been to one since I was about 12. Do I have to buy them a present off the list or just of my own choosing?

[Hgrove]

This is a matter of opinion.  In my opinion you do not have to buy them a present off their list, but presumably everything on the list are things they actually want or need, whereas if you choose something off your own bat, it may be something they don't need or already have.

[andy hughes]

If the gifts on the list are beyond your price range, a voucher for a local store will be appreciated, and if finances area really limited, a small ornament or picture for their new home will do fine.

[Andy008]

I was just going to get a pair of decent champagne flutes, at about �40 the pair from House of Fraser...I can't imagine going far wrong with something like that?

[smudge]

If you don't wish to choose from a list & are stuck for gift ideas, perhaps you could buy John Lewis vouchers. That way, they could have fun spending them on something of their choice.

Although the glasses sound very nice, �40 is a lot of money to spend on something they might not need or want. Good luck & have a nice time at the wedding. 

[blueeyedlass]

smudge i just have to ask are you getting commision from john lewis for these vouchers that you keep recommending or are you just a big fan of the shop ? x.

[smudge]

I knew somone would remember that blueeyedlass! 

I think JL is an excellent store, which sells everything from mirrors, clocks, pictures, crockery, cutlery, place mats, coasters, furniture, electrical, computers, toys, nursery, stationery, bedding, curtains, blinds, clothes,  to oh yes, a great 'gift' department!

The restaurant is just as good too! -x-

[vinny200]

I went to 2 Weddings last year,one couple were quite well of and i gave them a present from their list.The other couple were not so well of,So i phoned the hotel where the reception was taking place and found out how much it would cost for food etc say for 50 people,which was about the right amount of people at their wedding.I then done a few sums ,worked how much it was costing them to feed the 4 people in my family and gave them money to cover the meal and a decent amount to buy themselfs something for there home. Nobody new  what i did, and they were well chuffed with the money.

[smudge]

Ah Vinny - What lovely thing to do - I'm in tears now!

[natalie_1982]

I think champagne flutes are a bit obvious and they will probably have loads of sets, though tis a nice idea.  The two weddings I have been to over the past two years have asked for either a list or vouchers, most people went for vouchers as it is easier to pick which toaster you specifically want than being dumped with one you don't particularly like!  Other than that I would say picture frames, a book of relationship/ wedding poems, etc.

My uncle got my dad's wedding card signed by the entire Norwich City Squad for that season - it cost him the price of the card.

[ursula62]

You don't *have* to buy them anything at all. A wedding cannot be a closed ceremony by law and anyone is free to attend.

However, if you're going to the reception as well as the actual ceremony then it's customary to take a gift with you.

Vouchers for well known stores are a good bet if you don't want to buy something off the list. But like giving money if you are a bit hard up then vouchers can feel a bit "mean", even though you often give more than you can actually afford.

Do you know the couple well? If so, why not go for something a bit more personal. Perhaps a newspaper from the day they met; or something you know means a lot to one or both of them?

Or if you don't have much money and you have a particular skill, you could give them a cheque book of vouchers for jobs or time they can claim back from you - e.g. 6 hours baby sitting, or painting a spare room.

[secretspirit]

This might not be your cup of tea but for my wedding my best friend's present to me was black and white photos of the day that she took herself. They're so much more personal than the professional photographer's that I way prefer them and she presented them in a lovely simple album. It really captured the spirit of the day.

[smudge]

That sounds like a wonderful idea secretspirit. I would have treasured something like that too.

[gluff]

A Toaster