Residential Order

[star241984]

I have had a bad break up with my ex, the father of my son and am wanting to move nearer to my parents who live 350 miles away and he is saying he is going to get a residential order so that i can't move. What is this and how can i still move to be near my family. What would the residential order do for him/me?

[christina81]

A residential order is basically custody of the child.Meaning the child will live with him.I don't think there is anything he can do.I am very confident he cant stop you from moving home with your child.Go and check it out with a solicitor though.He would get contact but thats probably about it.He can't take your son away from you as he would have to have a real good reason and proof.How old is your son?
Contact will be an issue being so far apart though.

[star241984]

my son is 3 and i know contact would be an issue being so far away but i really need to be near my family and if he loves him as much as he is claiming he should be ok with travelling to see him i think.

[christina81]

well if it goes through court which is what it sounds like its a whole other ball game.He has to see him often.Because your son is only three,your son can't choose for himself wether or not he wants to see his father.
i don't mean to sound deppressing but he sound like he is going to make things hard for you.
It would be fantastic if you could sort it out between you an not in court.It is a real long and destressing process.I should know I am in the process still after almost two years.
I would just go personally.But please get advice from a solicitor.It won't hurt to double check.I am sure you have no problem as you will need support from your family

[treborrobert]

well first of all dont say... if he loves his son he will travel ...that is totaly unfair for you to say that ..and it sounds bad.....
i say just go and work things out ..dont use the child as bait ...as for residential order ..he has no chance...

i feel sorry for the father it will break his heart..BUT .. you have to go if you nead to be near your family... but please dont break him up from his son.. as for him come to you to visit your son ...i could say if you love your son you wouldnt take him away from his dad ...see what i mean !..

you could have him going to his dads in the school holidays for 1 week say every 3 months = 4 times a year

gives father something to look forwards to and the child .. ad a break for you lol ...

[treborrobert]

if you dont sort it out there will be only one looser in this ..YOUR SON ! ... so think of him and dont think of yourselfs...be together on this..think of this ... full week is better than 1 day a week ..better for father son and mum .. its so easy its trust

[nin99a]

I went through the same thing 3 and a half years ago. My ex husband took me to court for the same thing. I moved 90 miles away to a completely new area. My son was 4 at the time. I went to court and he was given a contact order. We had to make our own arrangements for the traveling ( picking up and dropping off) I agreed to let him see our son when the schools were on holiday as I thought it would be a better idea and would save any hassle when my son started school. Start looking for your house and make enquires / get information on all the childcare and nurseries/schools in the area as this will help when you go to court, provide as much info as to how your son will be in a more stable environment when you move.