cheeting hubby or not ?

[cherokee03]

I found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband had been texting and phoning my best friend, whos having marital issues. He denied that there was anything going on except talking and listening, so did she, but I had doubts. I decided to put it behind us and try and get on with things, until the other day i found out they had met up. After promising no more secrets, yet again they both appologised, but where do i stand now........?

[4getmenot]

he wants you to decide??? So he's not begging you to stay or keep him. Sorry but now you've said that I think he's looking for some excuse to be with her

[sqad617]

Easy...whilst your husband is in the shower, get his mobile, scan down to the suspects name, keep her name but edit her number to your own, an all his texts to her will come to you.

[redcrx]

oooh thats sneaky squad

i like it

[evedawn]

i second maizy's answer!

[onlyme26]

sqad - good plan but unless he texts her first it wont work, if she texts him first he will just hit reply plus if you put your name instead of hers, when she texts her name wont come up? so he will know you tampered with it?>?

[cherokee03]

He takes his fone everywhere with him, even the shower. I caught him out because he was acting strange (quiet not his usual self) by logging on to the phone records on the net. stupidly i told him and he's changed the password now i can get on.

[onlyme26]

I must admit him taking his phone everywhere sounds like he doesnt want you to see something

you must feel like rubbish right now :o(

this is prob gonna p*ss people off on here but if you are that concerned, you need to do something sneaky to find out,

follow him maybe, see where he goes, maybe trick your best friend into giving you info or what i reckon will work is................

is there any possible way you could get his phone?
this could seriously back fire but..... one night, maybe when he is in bed, text her from his phone... say something like

" i wanna tell ( your name) about us, i feel its unfair sneaking behind her back all the time, what do you think, text me back"

and see what she texts back,

now if she is confused and has no idea what you are on about then i guess there is nothing going on but....

she may reply with something else???

[pips1]

This all sounds SO suspect to me - not only because of what the two of them are supposed to be doing - but also because you are ready to let him go so easily! I lost my husband to a 'friend' but not before I fought tooth and nail to keep him. Marriage is precious and believe me, you have no idea how lonely it is on your own.

[cherokee03]

pips1 i have got my kids to think about, i'm at my wits end struggling to do the simplist of tasks, i've lost a stone and a half since all this c**p started, if i have to fight to keep him at my side i don't think he's worth keeping, when do you call it a day? Theres nothing suspect here, just a confused woman

[pips1]

Sorry cherokee, obviously none of us on here know all the facts. I lost an incredible amount of weight too (down to 7 stone), struggled to look after my two young children and basically went to pieces. Looking back now, I can see that he was not worth fighting for because of what he was putting me through, but at the time all I could feel was blind panic at the thought of losing him. It still hurts now, years later, and I still miss him in my life. Whether they are good or bad people does not change how you feel, love just happens and you can't easily turn off your feelings. I just hope with all my heart that you cope with whatever you decide to do better than I did. Just talk to him first, as calmly as you can, before you decide what to do. I wish you well x

[lil75]

I would get hold of the phone when he is asleep!...I would lay there for hours until he was in a deep sleep and pretend to be asleep myself....another idea this is terrible but I would do it...if you ring a detective agency they can give you a device what you yourself can easily slip into the back of his phone and he wouldnt even know it was there! All the texts he recieves and sends will also go to your mobile, also all conversations can be listened to by you.....but personally I would go round to your mate and have it out with her, I wouldnt be nice and Ide tell her to F*ckoff and stay away, get real nasty with her if you have to...after all your marraige/home is at stake and your childrens father....I would kill her for taking the pis*

[cazzz1975]

married life shouldnt be full of distrust and secrecy, I suggest you have a warts and all discussion, trust your instinct and make your decision based on that.

[puddicat]

lil sorry that doesnt work i begged his now wife to stay away and you guessed he didnt, thats not always the answer!!!

[Velvetee]

As your friend, both her's and your husband's behaviour is unacceptable. I haven't read all the threads, but assume neither told you they were having a secret textual relationship. On that basis alone, I would say your suspicions are understandable.

As far as this friend is concerned, I would give her short shrift, I really don't think she can be trusted and is not a worthwhile friend to have.

[onlyme26]

Hiya, how are you today? are things any better??

hugs x

[helster]

Hi. How are things today? I really hope you get things sorted. We're thinking of you.

[cherokee03]

Hi guys, thanks for the concern, he swears there's nothing in it and that theres going to be no more contact. Still not sure what to think or where we go from here, i'll get there eventually once i sort my head out.....