Confused

[CL3]

My best friend is a guy. However, I think the line between us has blurred. He keeps on tickling me, stroking my face, telling me how to wear my hair, grabbing my hands and holding them, once he pulled me into his lap before pushing me away. He is always grabbing me and pulling me in close to him but then pushing him away.
If we're out at a bar, and a guy is hitting on me, he'll chase them away. One time his friend came up from the country and he got really upset about the prospect of me meeting him, I had to just leave because the friend has a reputation of being a womaniser.
But he talks of other girls to me, and he dates other girls.
It is affecting our friendship because I don't know where I stand. His friends have been making suggestive remarks about me as well behind my back.
He is my best friend but I don't know how to deal with it.
Is he confused or what?
Help much appreciated.

[4getmenot]

do you fancy him?

[jno]

it's for you to decide where you stand, not him. Do your hair how you want. Speak to whoever you want. He sounds confused - but that's his problem, not yours; and you can't sort him out, he has to do it himself.

Take charge of your own life!

[CL3]

I won't deny the fact he is very good looking... but he is a bit of a womaniser. Sometimes I think he's just trying on the charm because I'm the only one amongst his female friends he hasn't had any romantic involvement with and he gets a kick out of seeing if I will succumb to his charm.

[CL3]

JN) - Thanks for the advice, I do do what I want and I do speak to who I want regardless of his so called interfering but I can't deny his general behaviour physical and verbal, is encroaching on our friendsip.

[kool59]

how did things get blurred?maybe you do fancy him.best relationships are with people who know each other.looks as if love and affection is hiding behind friendship..why not take it to the next level.do you feel the same if some girl is flirting with him?i think your both confused and u should sit down with him and speak about it why not?when i was at uni there was this girl who i fancied ,we were at lectures together,we became good friends, but i never had the guts to ask her out,..i was just too scared of rejection.one day we met in the library and the way she looked at me i knew she wanted more than friendship,we got talking about previous dates and then she said why dont we go out,and i said yes.i know what your thingking but i was just crap at asking a girl out lol....tickling,grabbing,pulling,hugging and being jealous ,these are all signs of a good and healthy relationship....go for it!

[CL3]

Kool59 - I don't know when the line became blurred... it just seemed to happen out of nowhere.
Seriously there is a lot of confusion going on, it is doing my head in!
You are right, it could be resolved by simply maybe having a talk but there is the fear that because he's a serial womaniser and all that, I'll just be another notch.
You could right its just I so do not have the nerve to say, 'Look, do you like me that way' or whatever.
But thank you for replying, you seem lovely!

[onlyme26]

hiya,

personally unless you have strong feelings towards him id stay clear, especially if he is a bit of a womaniser!

he is within his rights to do what ever he pleases of course but you dont want to end up being in the situation where at the end of the night if he hasnt pulled he'd try it with you? not saying he is like that, but if you start to show interest it may get like that,

id stick as mates, especially if you are best friends, to much to loose for a quick fling i reckon, and things wouldnt be the same afterwards,

xx

[rachael88]

here is a tip hun never ever let a guy tell u what to do , just say something like i don't want to wear my hair like that or something xxxxx

[angel-cake]

I was close friends with a guy for a long time (we were both single and kissed twice over a period of a couple of years but nothing more happened). This summer I said to him about us 'getting together' and he said he thought we were better as friends. I was a little relieved as i think i was confused about how much i liked him.

So we stayed friends and i have now met someone else, and OMG has he thrown his toys out the pram or what!!!

He now barely talks to me but tbh i am really happy with my new bloke and I think my old friend is no longer worth the effort. He obviously only liked me when i was 'available' even though he didnt want me.

[kool59]

u tatally did the right thing angel...whats the point of hanging on and build unnessary tension and confusion..all guys are not at fault.think about it two people meet for the first time and alot of body language,chemistry,attraction,flirting and BOOOm nothings happens,u feel lost ,u dip into confusion and u stay their untill youve had enough and move on like an angel.guys are not good at moving on,we rather stay in confuse city incase she gets fed up and says ok lets just do it!lol.i really feel for u CL3,hope u make the right choice because only you know what needs to happen?

[Le Chat]

I got blasted and accused of sexism on another thread for my opinion on male/female relationships.....
The female friend can be 'just friends' but the bloke as well as being 'just friends' will always take the opportunity for sex should it arise!
My other opinion is that however close a male/female frienship is, the males first priority is always to his male friends.

[CL3]

I just want to say thank you to you all for your advice and that, even though he and I haven't broached the subject, there have been difficulties in our friendship whether connected to that or whatever, and now we're very close to basically stopping being friends at all.
We've tried to talk but all it was, was a bunch of broken sentences and long silences.
So thank you all for talking the time to try and help.