Child maintenance

[pjm007]

I have been separated from my wife for a year now, we have two children for which I pay �200 pcm, this is not paid through the CSA, it is a mutual agreement. On top of that I pay for the kids clothes, haircuts, basically everything they need.

We have the kids equally on a 4 on/4 off basis, I would like to point out that I have no problem in finacially supporting my children but I'm starting to think that �200 is far too much, I also think that hardly any of that money is being spent on the kids.

I am seriously thinking about reducing the amount I give to her. Does anyone think I should carry on as I am or should I sort this out now ?

Thanks.

[daffy654]

�200 per month to support 2 kids in not really much,that only equates to �50 per week so wouldn't really pay for food never mind anything else.I think that as you already pay for all the extras though and also have them with you for part of the week then keep the payments as they are,If you get the CSA involved you could end up paying more.

[lozzylou]

go on to the csa website and use there calculater it will tell u how much you should be paying based on your income, if it is a lot less than 200 pound then reduce payments

[voltr4m4x]

Much depends on your net income at this time. Your wife does have the choice in these circumstances to approach the CSA for guidance and help in obtaining money from you with which to support the children, since I note that you only have an Agreement to pay and it is not subject (as yet) to a Court Order. Be advised to tread very carefully before you decide of your own accord to reduce any financial support for the children - the CSA have tremendous powers in these circumstances and will be empowered to obtain money from you by whatever means is necessary.

It is not your concern as to how your wife may be spending the money you give her towards maintaining the children.

[redcrx]

if you are having the kids for equal times then surely you are paying out just as much as your ex is?
I thought that in situations like that the CSA lowered payments

[redcrx]

Im certainly not recommending this but I knew a person who was so worried that his money wasnt being used for the children that he did a food shop and clothes shop and delivered that instead of cash.

[lozzylou]

we used to do what red has said. we used to have to pay his ex 150 per month, but she was a **** head who spent her money on drink so we started going to asda and spending 100 pound on food. we made sure there were plenty of food for meals and also brought a few snacks for his son. we then went to boots and got things like shampoo toothpaste etc for him. and then gave her 40 pound in cash a month. this way we knew he hafood in the cupboards and she could then save her money for beer

[naflharrison]

to be honest im all for fathers paying their way but i really think 200 quid is alot if your also paying extra for their haircuts etc. especially if you have the children just as much as your ex. i think people are to quick to say oh take him to the cleaners etc but there is nothing wrong with your ex supporting her children, why cant she pay for haircuts, etc. there are to many mothers that take the money for their kids and the kids get nothing out of it. ive seen it with my brother and his money grabbing ex who takes his money every month but never lets my brother see his son, she had the little boy tellin my brother from the age of 2 n half that he didnt want to see him and doesnt call him dad. its not just women who need support with things.

[Ice.Maiden]

I don't think that �200 pcm is much at all, if that's for BOTH children. That'd make it about �25 a week each. Do any bus fares/petrol money have to come out of this, when taking he children to school, etc? Does it cover social outings, such as swimming, the cinema, etc? If you add to that food, clothing, extra fuel costs for the home - �25 a week goes nowhere. My two children get that much between them in pocket money - but if you provide for all these extras, then it might be wise to sit down with your wife, and work out a sensible budget - if that's possible. Good luck to you all.

[Beanmistriss]

Its not a good idea to buy food etc instead of just giving her the money. You can not prove how much you've given her and if she felt like it she could claim you had given her nothing. You'd then get shafted by the csa. Same with any money you give her - transfer it straight into her bank account from yours. I can't see why you have to pay so much if you have them half of the time - doesn't seem very fair. Its not just your responsibility to provide for them - it's their mothers too. If they stay with you half the time then you have as much need as her to provide a roof over ther heads, food etc.

[smiths]

As you are having the kids equally then it really depends on who buys their clothes, pays for their school trips etc etc. If your wife pays everything for them then it s fair. If however you share the cost of everything + you pay maintenance then this is different.. Also it depends on how much you earn. If you can see the money is being spent in the right way, ie for the children then there isnt a problem. You didnt say how old the kids were. It they are teenagers or near this age then �200 is not a lot of money.