Dangerous colleague!!

[foodluva]

I've just started a new job and everyone is really nice and friendly. However, there is one girl who, despite her niceness, gives me the impression she could be trouble. She's very chatty but I've noticed recently that she's tried to invite me into conversation with her regarding what I think of other colleagues (I have only been there a week!!!!!). Obviously, I have not entertained this and have only told her that I think everyone is nice.I don't think she is very popular in there (she has only been there 6 weeks herself) as most of the other staff have dropped hints that they do not think much of her (this includes the boss) and she herself has told me that she feels she doesn't fit in. However, I am worried that even though I haven't said anything bad about anyone that she might somehow make trouble for me - perhaps by lying about things I've not said.

How do you think I should deal with this? We are a bunch of nurses and have to work closely so choosing to distance myself from her is not an option. Do I continue as I am and not enter into any slanging matches until she gets bored and backs off? Do I tell her politely that she's making me uncomfortable? Do I have a quiet word with the boss to make her aware of my concerns?

Your opinion would be greatly appreciated! But please bear in mind that I am not a naturally confrontational person and that I need to maintain a working relationship with her so I don't want an aggressive approach.

[kira000]

You dont have anything concrete to go on at the moment, other than a feeling, so i would avoid talking to your boss about it right now- you dont want to get labeled as a gossip or trouble causer yourself when they dont know you.

If you cant avoid working with her, then be pleasant when working together, but dont get involved in gossip about colleagues, dont let her draw you in to it. If she starts, try changing the subject, if she continues, then make an excuse to leave the room for a short while.

If you are really worried then make a private log of such events wih dates and times and witnesses. If something does happen, then at least you will have a record of actual events to refer to.

[ll_billym]

I would do exactly what you have been doing. If this girl actually has something bad to say about somebody else that is true then find something positive to say about that person in return... "Yes but she gets on really well with the patients..." or something like that. She'll soon get bored. I think a week is too short a time to make any waves about it.

[ll_billym]

Oh and as long as you are nice to the others and do your job well then I don't think that you need worry about them taking much notice of the girl if she does try to make trouble for you as it seems they have already made their minds up about her.

[terambulan]

Concentrate on your nursing work......socialising is unprofessional while at work. Civility never hurt anyone though!

[mandimoo]

it may not be sinister as you think. i think it sounds like the poor girl does NOT fit in, even worse she knows it. she is probably hoping she can befriend you before the others get their hooks in and turn you into one more for the clique. wouldnt it be nice if you could befriend all of them and then bring everyone together. as for the immediate problem, just dont be drawn into it. a comment that you dont know anyone well enough to judge them explains nicely.

[foodluva]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Everyone has given me some good ideas. I take the point that perhaps I have not been there long enough to make waves and might end up looking like the devious one if I take issue with the boss.

II_billym I have been doing what you suggest and have been commenting on the positive aspects of everyone. Today I told this girl that I will take people as I find them.

Terambulan, none of these conversations take place around patients (or anyone else for that matter). Many of these conversations take place during break times if we are alone.

Mandimoo you might have a point. She doesn't seem to fit in and I think she's looking for an ally. However, she is going the wrong way about it because I think she is trying to stir things up. Today, I just sat on the fence big time when she was looking for comments and I think that's how I'm going to play it.

Thanks for your comments everyone.

Dx