confused

[butter1]

my mother died 2 and half years ago, I was 17 and my dad found it very hard to cope with.  He drank quite heavily and it wasn't until my older brother found him in the gutter, past out that my dad came to his senses.  8 months after my mum died my dad met someone else.  Although myself and my brother found this to be quite soon after my mum - we accepted her for my dad as we would never wish him to be on his own.  My dad married this woman 6 months later and I had to move in with them and my new step-brother.  My brother lives with his wife.  I'm finding it very hard to deal with so soon.... my dad has seemed to have changed, he was stricked before and now he seems to let me get away with anything.  I started doing things to make him notice me but nothing happened, and now I have just found out that I'm pregnant.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do?

[hectic]

I really feel for you here butter1, all I can say to you is that everybody deals with death in different ways, yours dad's drinking shows how deeply affected by you mum's death he was.  He may have remarried so soon to try and compensate what he lost as maybe he was afraid that if he didn't get back to some sort of normality he would continue the drinking which wouldn't have been fair on anyone.  I can sense that you are feeling a bit lost at the moment as he lets you do anything you want you may feel that he no longer cares but I don't think is true, I think your dad has issues that he is keeping to himself regarding your mum.  I take it that your pregnancy wasn't a planned one, is it something that you think you can cope with at 19?  Would you have the support of those around you, is it in your best interests, these are the type of questions you need to ask yourself.  if you are craving for attention from your dad I don't think pregnancy is the way to get it.  You need to sit down with your dad and get all of your feelings out in the open and try and get him to discuss his with you as this would more than likely bring you closer together at the end, it may be a very upsetting and emotional experience but should be worth it in the end.  I hope this helps you and if I have offended you in anyway at all, please accept my apologies, good luck

[hopalong]

Sorry for you loss Butter. I know how you feel I lost my mum last November. You said you where 17 when she died 2 years ago. But surely at 19 you shouldn�t need a strict dad you should be old and mature enough by now.  I think you should tell your dad you are pregnant because he will find out soon enough.  

[purification]

I am truly sorry for your loss butter1. 

I totally agree with Hectic about everything! So I won't repeat it all!

But please, talk to your dad, after all if you do decide to be a parent you need to take control of your life and it will show your dad how mature, responsible and also understanding you can be!

I wish you the best of luck in your future!  

  

 

[butter1]

thank you for your advice.  My pregnancy wasn't planned and I feel that I am too young to bring a baby into the world at the moment - I don't think I could cope with the preasures of parenting and I know its not really what I want and what am ready for.  I have been foolish and irresponsible.  I will sit down and have a chat with my dad.  Thank you again!

[mary2005]

just make sure it is the right decision and something that you wont regret in the future

[xxlizziexx]

i feel really sorry for you, that sounds really hard to go through with, wel just think you've got through all of that, im sure you can get through more as well. i would surgest gonig to your GP and getting maybe some counsoling, maybe this could help you sort out and deal with everything, i did that and it worked for me, hope this helps and everything goes well xxlizziexx

[butter1]

Thanks xxlizziexx, your very sweat.

[secretspirit]

Just to add to the previous answers butter1, your Dad might have stopped being strict not because he doesn't notice you any more or because you're older but because he feels guilty about what's happened to you and the family and wants to make it up to you in some way. With the pregnancy, of course it's your choice but if you're in the very early stages do give yourself a little time to think it over before you make any snap decisions because whichever way you go it will be with you for the rest of your life. Take care.

[Bottom]

hi butter1, sorry for your lost, Can you confide in your brother as he might be able to advice you and support you through this, I really hope it works out x