Moving on

[SHELLP]

I split with my ex 5 months ago it was a nasty break up and he has to go to court, the problem is I cant forget about him. I go out a lot with friends and meet loads of men whilst out get a fair bit of attention but when it comes down to it I cant bring myself to go out with them. Went out with one 3 times he kept sending me really nice texts and was a real gentleman but I compared him unfavourably with my ex the same as I always do. I feel so bad and really want to forget about him but no matter what I do nothing works I thought if I went out with this other man I might be able to forget him and move on but not so. I really want to contact my ex but know I shouldnt he cant contact me because of bail conditions. The most annoying thing is that when I was with him I wanted out of the relationship had been with him 5 years told him it was over and thats when he turned nasty.

Any advice on forgetting about him welcome.

[torn-in-two]

I kinda had the same problem a while ago - besides the court cases and bail etc..

I had this really nice fella who was everything you would have wanted... but my ex kinda controlled me still in the way of he was a part of it all in my head, the comparsion etc.

In the end of it i stopped messing the guy about n told him that we should just be friends, Meanwhile i have been just out with friends and i deleted his number.. I told friends not to talk to about him or anything that involves him to me as we have the same friends.

Even though I still love my ex and think about it i think that if you think its definitly over it will work for you as it worked for me with another lad.

Good luck ! x

[pinktwink]

i agree you are still allowing youe ex to control you . First thing give yourself permission to move on without the pressure . Rid yourself of constant reminders. Go out have fun take up a new interest or hobby. Be thankful and proud you are free and safe

[barney1966]

trouble is when you look back at the time you were together you are looking back with rose-tinted spectacles, remembering the good times and blanking out all the bad times. Remind yourself of all the bad times, the reasons why you wanted out of the relationship, etc. You wanted him out of your life, you have him out of your life so keep it that way.

[lil75]

No disrespect here shellp, but how many times can you keep putting on the same question and getting the same answers! You know the man was a wrong un, why do you have to keep being told

[Sgt.Rock]

Totally agree lil, this has been done to death on here.

[redcrx]

"it was a nasty break up and he has to go to court" he held you at knife point and headbutted you! http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question640031.html

take another read of your previous replies! http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question625389.html

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question605483.html

Are you seeing a counsellor???

[Bbbananas]

The answer is in your question shell -

You need to be "Moving On".

[lil123]

When you think about him, remember the worst thing he ever did to you. Squeeze your middle finger and thumb together whilst you do.
It's been proven that women who did this were less likely to go back to their violent partner.
Every time I even have the slightest weak moment I do this and it works!
I have been split from mine 2 years but will never ever look back.
You will move on but only if you allow yourself too.
There is a lot of help out there.
Read back on your threads and you will realise how far you have come already.
Good luck xx

[bemore]

You need to make a comparison of his good parts and his bad parts. If you were to consider getting back together could you realisticly see him changing his bad ways for the sake of the relationship???

If you cant then its time to move on. You have obviously shared 5 years off your life together which is a long time. Get a mutual friend to take away anything that may belong to him back to him. Put all pics of you together in a box and stash them away, you may regret throwing them away because in a few years down the line you may be able to look at them without the yearning to be back together.

If he rings you dont not answer it, if he texts dont reply. Delete his number.

You dont allways have to be in a relationship to be happy, take the oppurtunity of being single in both hands and enjoy it. Take a bit of time to start loving yourself.

Time IS the greatest healer, I have never heard such an expression that I agree with more. Obviously now you cant see that but over time you will.

Good luck.

[SHELLP]

cheers bemore trying to stay strong