Hi Pheebs,
sorry to hear of your problems. It sounds like an obstruction to the outlet of the bladder, which can be caused by an enlarged prostate gland, which can either be benign or malignant. Suggest you ask your doctor for a Prostate Specific Antigen test, which would either preclude or confirm if the problem is with the prostate gland. Please don't think it couldn't happen to you because you are young (at 41). My husband had the same problem, which unfortunately turned out to be malignant. He had radiotherapy and hormone treatment, and thankfully is doing great, now cleared for only six-month checks. Please don't delay investigating this, as either way, early diagnosis can lead to a cure, particularly in a young and otherwise healthy man. Our thoughts are with you. Best of Luck.