Future eating disorder or what?

[clcandj]

My daughter is 12 yrs old. And she constantly says she is fat. Ok, she is 5foot 3inches and weighs 104lbs. now does she Really think she's fat or what? i have always told her how pretty she is etc. I don't know where this is coming from but it worries me alittle. I know she is not doing anything crazy(at least not yet) but I really want to stop this before it goes too far. Any suggestions?

[andy hughes]

Girls of this age are particulalry sensitive to the changes in their physical development, which combined with hormonal surges, make them insecure and vulnerable. All girls imagine they are 'fat' and talk about it, but you shouldn't worry unduly. You are doing exactly the right thing - re-affirm her self-worth and attractivveness when you see she is insecure. Make sure she eats a healthy diet at home, and keep an eye open for any weight fluctuations - especially loss - and moods that are above average. She, and you, will get through this - it's part of the pain of growing from a child into a woman, but with a secure home and loving family, both of which she obviously has, your daughter will be fine.

[magicdice]

i guess you could maybe make sure that when you eat at home it's big, healthy meals so she doesn't starve herself behind your back, tell her her health is far more important than her weight, that she'll change so much over the next 5 years and probably at a different rate to everyone around her so comparing herself to her schoolfriends is pointless.

at least she's talking to you about it, that means it's highly unlikely that she'll actually develop any sort of problem.

[lDIOTIC]

whatever you do, don't make an issue of eating.

[ann_h]

7 half stone at 5ft 3 is pretty skinny - I was the same at that age, I'm now 5ft 9 and 9 stone, always been a stick except for the year I stopped growing and carried on eating!!

Be aware that eating disorders are not about weight, they're about emotion. Anorexia is often an attempt to have control over just this one thing in life. So make sure she's not feeling overwhelmed at school, or bullied. And that you avoid putting pressure unduly for her to achieve certain things. My seriously anorexic schoolfriend was the only child of parents who had decided she was going to be a doctor. She eventually got it together to say "nuts to that" and took English and French for A Levels, and is now happy and fully plumped.

 

Best wishes to you both.

[morg_monster]

Maybe try and involve your daughter in meal preparation? take her on food shopping trips?  I mean, just to show her that it is easy to eat healthily, you don't have to resort to eating only lettuce and tiny portions.  If she talks about giving up chocolate and crisps, then I wouldn't worry about that too much - as magicdice says, ensure that you are all eating good healthy balanced meals at home, and also try and eat all together.  If she understands that it is what you eat rather than how much you eat that makes you fat (to a certain extent) then this should help.

[nrmatth]

maybe even find those girl magazines that show articles of skinny actress and say how horrible they look with so little weight. some do before and after when weight is put on that stress how much healthier they look. men tend to vote on the polls in those that say they'd rather have a healthy looking women than a rail-thin one. leave one laying around or bookmark a site like that for her to find. plus maybe explaining puberty to her about how her body will distribute the weight accordingly (hips, breasts, bottom) in time. suggest how to eat healthy and not . maybe explain body types and show healthy celebrities with all sorts of shapes (pear, etc.). Maybe some pictures of kids her age and at adult ages (show how even ugly ducklings can naturally grow into swans). just suggestions i thought of by putting myself in a teenager's shoes. maybe not the correct conventional way but teens don't seem to aknowlegde those anyway.

[cupcake]

I have a ten year old girl who thinks she is fat(she isn't) but its not just her who thinks like this. After talking to some her friends mums it appears that this is a common conversation in their house too! My daughter has always been involved in the buying and preparing of meals and she knows about healthy eating. The problem appears to stem from programmes/magazines/media images informing young girls that if they want to be rich, happy and successful that have to be thin and pretty. She is now also aware that photos in magazines can be airbrushed and retouched to make someone appear perfect even when they are not!  Have to agree with IDIOTIC about not making food an issue.