Quick serious advice please

[Drisgirl]

My friend has been in tears today and yesterday about her partners shifty behaviour.
He works with H.
I said i would try to find out if anything was wrong however in the interim my husband has just told me he was involved in a smash on Friday night -he wasnt hurt and he wasnt drunk and it wouldnt appear to have been his fault.

I have been warned to say nothing but when you have your friend in tears and you know the reason what would you do?

I am torn over this one as her partner only told my husband tonight when confronted as the word had got out.

I have his moby number -should I phone him and tell him she is worried sick?

[lovefoolb4u]

Yeah, i would definitely phone him. That way, you aren't keeping it from the girl as such, because you can explain to her that you'd rather she heard it from the horse's mouth than from someone else.

[weeal]

hiya

why on earth wouldnt he tell her this tho? its not the end of the world, is there more to it?

[~Wingnut~]

Hmm sounds a bit funny that if it wasn't his fault that he would want to hide it from her. Can you think why he would try to hide this from her? I would ring him and tell him that he should tell her or you will tell.

[weeal]

eg. was there someone else in the car? was he where he shouldnt be? is driving whilst banned?

[weeal]

wingnut - not seen you for ages, you doin ok?

[jack daniels]

Hi Dris - don't know what you mean by 'H' husband?

get your husband to tell her fella that she thinks he's seeing someone/or all sorts of things going through her head & that he'd better tell her whats going on before the whole situation gets out of hand

hth

[Drisgirl]

Thanks -there must be more but I have had H on the phone again warning me not to say a word but she is stuck up here and is at her wits end worrying -despite the fact i have been warned I think I am gonna have to phone him and then its up up to him if he chooses to come clean.At least I have done my bit.I am wondering if he want insured -just had another call from H -warning me off but I cant quite simply say nothing -man they dont half stick together do they?

[~Wingnut~]

It does all sound a bit iffy , if you don't ring him then your hubby should tell his friend that his wife is beside herself thinking all sorts and that you have been put in a difficult position.


Eh up Weeal!!! :o) Not bad thanx, hope your doing ok! xxx

[~Wingnut~]

You could tell H that he either tells you why it is so important that she shouldn't find out or you will tell her yourself. It certainly sounds like he is trying to hide something.

[sqad617]

Keep out of it drisgirl, I would put my months pay that he ia seeing another woman abd does not want the details to come to light.
He will contact your friend when he feels that he ought too.

[Hammer-Head]

Stop trying to interfere in other people's lives.

[Drisgirl]

Well I phoned him and told him I knew something had happened and that his partner was up to high do as she had been crying to me on the phone and he hung up.
I then left a lambastic message on his voicemail to the tune that i was only warning him to come up with something to appease her until he could tell her and he could basically go eff himself and get on with it.

Im not having anything else to do with it -thanks all for your ,as ever, valuable advice.

H is my husband btw -but its also his initial.

H is foaming with me but put yourself in my position -its like her keeping from me that H had been in a smash -I wouldnt ever forgive her.

aaarrgghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Marijn]

Your husband is trying to do the right thing for his friend, and you're trying to do the right thing for your friend. Your H should understand you had to do something.

[jen78]

Difficult one that! I hope all works out and you and H don't get caught in the crossfire or have problems yourselves because of it.

The man put you in a difficult position with telling H and him in turn, telling you if he knew you were friends.

I remember coming out of my flat one morning a while back to find the boyfriend of a friend of mine from my old work (he also worked there) draped all over some little tramp, also from my old work.

Knowing my friend had not long had a baby I was in a horrible dilemma about what to do. Some time later, I found out my friend and him had split up so left it.

I saw my friend the other day and she said they'd split over him cheating and turns out the little tramp is now expecting his baby in the new year :(

[Drisgirl]

Ta everyone -I feel i did the best in the circumstances.She cant say I kept it from her as i didnt interfere in so much as I asked him to at least appease her until he had to confront her.
She has phoned as many times tonight but thankfully (not) I have been rather upset about something else so she hasnt touched base on him.Pheww !!!!

No im not being a Drama Queen for the cynics -my life just happens to be one major production.

Seriously tho -thanks all for your input -its now a waiting game as they say.

[bobtheturkey]

i always hated steps

[Drisgirl]

So did i bob spesh when they did that line dancing number .

Anyway -he phoned her about 10mins after i phoned him and told her what had had happened..

She has just phoned me and i pleaded ignorance until she said I had phoned him but I said i only phoned cos of how upset she was -plus she only gave me his new number during the week so she knows i only phoned cos i was concerned.So she 'told' me what had happened.
It looks like I played it OK this time but I dont want to be placed in that position again.

TY again peeps xxx