Oops What next? Part 2

[sam100]

Yesterday i visited a male friend who i havn't seen for a while...but fancied him like hell for years and years. We had spoken to each other for the last couple of days and were both flirting outrageously. Anyway, when i went round we had a kiss and well one thing led to another *cough*..all very nice. As i was leaving we made plans to text each other later that day, which we did and both said that we had really enjoyed what happened earlier in the day. But earlier as i was leaving the house he had made this comment when i said i was suprised what happened ."i was just truing to see how far you would go"..we were both nervous so it may have just been a bad choice of comment? Tomorrow he goes on holiday for a fortnight. I really want to know what happens from here..Any suggestions or constructive opinions? UPDATE: So he arrived back from his holiday and we met up the next day and spent a lovely evening together. When i left everything was fine (thurs evening). On Saturday night i went out with a friend and bumped into him (he could have known that i was there) he smiled at me but completely ignored me, i collard him and asked if i had done anything to offend him to which he replied no, smiled and walked off. Throughout most of the evening his friends kept glancing in the direction of me and my friend, kept moving closer to where we were standing and at one point were right behind us. When i left i said goodbye to him but have not heard from him since. Whats the general opinion on this???

[sqad617]

Sorry lakita pressed the button twice.

[Lakitu]

Quite alright :o)

I'll concede not ALL men are weird but every man I've come across is. It's all very well when both parties are well aware that it's a one night stand, or a very casual fling.

He completely ignored her at the club, what's that all about? He's not the only guy to have done that, which makes me think it's bravado infront of the mates and just weird. I know my mates would think it was ME being weird if I just ignored a bloke in the pub I'd just slept with 48 hours ago.

Get this, my mate liked a guy she worked with, they got on very well and were always stopping to chat to one another. They met up in a bar a few weeks later and they stood and chatted for around an hour then went back to their respective mates. The following week, she worked up the courage to ask him out for dinner, he said he'd like to but could they make it at the end of the month after pay day, which was fine with her.

From that day on he never looked her way again. Couldn't he just have said no in the first place? Why couldn't he just be straight up with her? Do men really think it's better to lie to us women initially and it'll make us feel better?

So, men are weird.

[sam100]

I'm just trying to put together a little note to pass to him via Facebook as getting hold of him can be a nightmare. I think its only fair that if he isnt interested thet he should give me some sort of reason?

I'm going to say that i actually really liked him and that its a shame that he couldnt let me know that he wasnt interested...any other suggestions???

[MrBounty]

Honestly, just go with what you feel is best.....the more differing replies you get here, the more confused you will be about the whole scenario.

Just go with your gut and say what YOU want to say....not what anyone else does.

[sqad617]

Point taken lakita, but perhaps you should have used the adjective "cowards" rather than "weird"

It takes b@lls to tell a woman face to face that "thanks for the great sex but I don't see our relationship blossoming"

I am not sure that if the boot was on the other foot, the woman would handle it any differently.

You are right, he was rude and ignorant so why does sam100 want to pursue this non starter?

[Lakitu]

Exchange all my 'weird' for 'coward', that's a MUCH better description :o)

[China Doll]

Something slightly less confrontational perhaps?

'Hey, how's it going? I just wondered if you'd up for going for a drink at the weekend or would you prefer to leave things as they are?'

Preferably at least via text and not facebook too.

[sqad617]

Agreed lakita, but yoiu still didn't answer my last question.

[sqad617]

China Doll, who is saying that to whom?.......bit confused.

[Lakitu]

What was you question, Squad?

[sqad617]

Lakita

"You are right, he was rude and ignorant so why does sam100 want to pursue this non starter? "

That was the unanswered question.

[Lakitu]

Sorry, I thought you were talking about Sam's guy (swings and roundabouts though). She figured the same and moved on.

[Tups]

Think you've been had. So to speak!

[sam100]

So message sent yesterday afternoon at 3pm ish and no reply! Quelle suprise! Despite me asking if he's being a coward he still couldnt just reply some half-baked excuse.

Its really shocked me as he's actually quite a shy person that he can behave like this.

[Velvetee]

I do recall this scenario was posted here several weeks ago.

Lots of men are like this when they get sex too soon, there is no mystery left, they've been there, so tend to switch off.

If that's not the reason, then it could be one of the following.

1) He does really like you, but is playing that hard to get, disinterested game.

2) Maybe he's showing off in front of his friends, perhaps he has a jack the lad reputation amongst them.

3) Maybe he doesn't want anything heavy and is trying to indirectly tell you this.

4) Maybe he classifies you as just shag material and not a longterm girlfriend.

5) Maybe the sex for him was not as great for him as it may have been for you, so he doesn't see any point in pursuing things.

Whatever it is, he sounds like a prize t wat and I wouldn't waste anymore time on him. Just put it down to experience and move on.