Kind of a personal Problem

[barney32]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for a while, but the problem is when ever we have sex, he never makes me reach climax.
We have tried loads of postions, differnent places.
I try to relax.

Has any one got any advice, as i really do love him

[Maypole]

Are you on any medication Barney? Antidepressants for example?

[Lakitu]

A lot of women do not reach climax just by penetration, have you both tried stimulating your clitoris? Also, if you're anxious about reaching climax, then it's unlikely you will be relaxed enough to achieve it.

[barney32]

yes, i'm on Certaline for Depression

[barney32]

tried stimulating my clit.
OH boy! That just seems to get me going more.

[Lakitu]

Stimulating get you going? Then you're taking a step in the right direction then.....?

[barney32]

Ye, but than nothing happens

[Lakitu]

I think you're thinking about it too hard. Are you getting to the point where you can feel it build up and then it disappears?

[Maypole]

Sorry Barney but that may well be the problem..... so dont attribute it to your no doubt lovely boyfriend :o) or your lack of relaxation, it may well just be a chemical thing. Its uncommon but it happens.

Im sure you know yourself whether the anorgasmia has coincided with the antidepressants. If you think it has discuss it with your GP next time you go in.

Dont stop taking the medication.

How about alternatives to penetrative sex for a while...........

[andy-hughes]

You may have got yourself into a mindset where an orgasm is the 'goal' to reach, and the pressure this puts on you stops it from happening.

Why not decide from the outset that you are not going to try to reach an orgasm, and just see what happens. If you take the pressure off, you will really relax, instead of thinking you are relaxing.

Remember, sex is about loving and fun, it''s not a contest with a score at the end, for either of you.

When you feel comfortable, try stimulating yourself you will enjoy that, and so will he, it's a real turn on! You can attend to your most senstitive areas, and he can learn where they are, but remember - all fun, no pressure is the way forward.

No-one is going to give you a gold medal for climaxing - if it happens, great, if not, no big deal.

[Lakitu]

I get a gold medal, Andy - it's one of those choccy pennies off the christmas tree ;o)

[barney32]

Maypole: Thanks i stopped the pills a couple of months ago, as i wanted to feel more human. So i went cold turkey. I'll have a word with the Doc next time i go in.

Andy: Thanks, i'll this next time, ps i can also have a gold medal, i like chocloate!

[barney32]

On Saturday when we where in bed, he said he wanted to ...so much me but he wanted me to climax first.
In the end i just told to .......

[Lakitu]

Without realising it, he's putting pressure on you from the start by saying that (I know he's trying to be sweet).

[Maypole]

Yes thats alot of pressure, although Im sure he is trying to be considerate. If you cant do as Andy says, why not try a vibrator together - can reach spots when all other means fail!!

[barney32]

Thanks Maypole, I'll have a word

In fact thank you guys so much
x

[Eve]

Take a trip to Ann Summers and buy yourself something buzzy then have some special time on your own with it and learn how to DIY then when you know what hits the spot where then show him :)

[QueenOfAmber]

ooooh! saucy - ;)