What To Do?!

[K82]

This is more advise needed than answers?!
I'm 24 & to be Married 1St Aug 09, however I think i'm pregnant (by my fiance of course)!
We had an accident or two over my ovulation cycle & now I'm late on!
In bed last night I mentioned children to which he replied 'we can't even contemplate having children yet'.
Now I'm too scared to take the test, let alone tell him.

The thing is I want to be pregnant (even if I will be huge in a wedding dress)!

What should I do?

[harryt]

I was in the same boat. I found out i was pregnant on dec 16th last year, we went out in the eve with some friends and got onto the subject of babies. My partner was adamant he wanetd to wait a few years!
Unknown to him i had found out in the morning that i was pregnant, when i told him the following day he was the proudest person alive! and he is now the proudest daddy!
They may say things, but when it happens, some will be happy.

[Lakitu]

Did he say why family couldn't be contemplated?

Wait a couple of days to see if your period comes on, when you're a week late, take the test. Not taking the test isn't going to change the result at the end of the day.

[ummmm]

You really have no option.

Take a test and if positive you have to tell him as it's not something you can hide. He'll come round to it if you are I'm sure.

[K82]

Thanks, I'll wait until next weekend & take the test!
He wouldn't contemplate it due to the wedding & decorating our house ect but surly if it happens, it happens! Thanks again x

[cockroach]

Go get a test straight away. Then it will either be phew!! or OMG...How ever....I feel if its phew! you still should find out what his intentions are before you get married on the children subject. If its OMG...you need to tell straight away.
Think ...do you really want this ..YET.. yourself...Dont get all swept up in the preggy thing. But if you decide to wait I would use extra contreception in future. But make sure his is warned that all is not 100% .

[redcrx]

youre marrying this man. Why can you not face such a thingas a possible pregnancy together??

take a test and then sit down and TALK to him.

[K82]

Red, I not scared of telling him cos' I'm frightened ect, more cos' I want to be pregnant & concerened it's not what he wants... Yet... I'll wait to see if I come on next week, if not will do the test. Thanks for all advice!

[sara3]

"an accident or two"??? I'd say someone wanted to fall pregnant and the other knew the risks!

hey, at least you're in a solid relationship. take the test and tell him. hopefully he'll be delighted, but don't be surprised if he's a little shocked.. you've had a while to adjust to the idea.

best of luck :o)

[K82]

Aw, thanks Sara. You are right we both knew the risks when having sex with no protection :o) I'll keep you update when I take the test - ta x

[redcrx]

why wait a week. your period is overdue and his reaction would be the same whether you find out now or in a weeks time wouldnt it?

if youre getting married then you really do need to be able to discuss things like children and pregnancy.

[ummmm]

They did Red and his reaction was that they couldn't contemplate it yet.

I think he'll be fine if you are.....If he loves enough to marry you he'll stick by you.

[redcrx]

i know they said they "mentioned children". but i took that to mean that K82 didnt say she thought she may be pregnant.

"im too scared to take the test, let alone tell him" sounds to me like the possibility or the late period were not mentioned to him.

[K82]

No Red, your right I haven't told him yet, I just brought up the subject to see his reaction.
I'm going to wait until next weekend to take the test as I'll be over 1 week late & plus I'm away with work & wouldn't want to break the news over the phone.
We do have a great relationship & certainly stable enough for children, just not great timing but then is there ever a right time to do anything?!

[redcrx]

nope, crikey if we all waitied for the right time to have kids the world would die out :). I for one know what its like to unplan such things.

i didnt realise you were away, of course you cant tell him over the phone and if you tested whilst awy itd be hard not to tell him.

good luck, hope you have the result that you want.

let us know how you get on

[K82]

Hi again!

Just to let you know I've purchased a Clear Blue digital test, is it best I take it tomorrow morning?

I heard it's best to do them in the morning. I think I know what it's going to say. Still no period, very sore boobies, feel tired ALL the time & nearly fainted in the Mall this afternoon!!

[whiskeysheri]

How did you get on, K82?

[K82]

Well I don't know?!
I took the test second pee in the morning yesterday & negative! I'm well over a week late & have all the symptoms. I went to the docs as I feel so faint all the time & have awful headaches but she thinks I'm just dehydrated.. Strange but true! When's the best time to take this second test?