They **** you up your Mum and Dad

[slimfandango]

I was discussing parenting with a mate, he has had the worst of times with parents, and quoted me, as if it was fact, a line from a Philip Larkin poem "They ***k you up, your Mum and Dad". Larkin wasn't saying 'some parents **** you up". But suggested that all parent do. Does anyone elses? Is it the same for all? Should you separate your life from them as an adult?

[dirtyharriet]

If you read the poem then you'll see that he also said that they were F****** up by their own parents. I've read the book it's very interesting. It just looks at families and how birth positions are relevant and how we all pass on what we learned from our own parents who learned from their parents etc.

[nrmatth]

I don't know the book or the saying, but I do know that writing in poems or tabloids alike are all part of a speech riddled with opinion. and though no opinion is wrong it is up to the individual to shape their own. In other words don't take every thing you read so seriously!

[Jackanory]

Philip Larkin's rather jaded view of parenthood is expressed in the following poem:
THIS BE THE VERSE
They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f***ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

I would take this advice with a VERY large pinch of salt!
As a parent and grandparent I can assure you,slimfandango, that NO it is definitely not the same for all and that many parents hand on love and joy even if they do make a few mistakes on the way.
I am so sorry that your mate had a bad experience and sincerely hope that he finds happiness in the future.

[funkychicken]

I'm also sorry your friend had a bad experience.

I am 17 and my friends find it quite weird how close my family is (I mean my parents, my brother and myself, not extended family) My mum is one of my best friends, she tells me stuff she wouldn't tell anyone else and we always have fun when we do things together. I'm not as close to my dad, I think because hes not a very affectionate person but hes still great. I wouldn't change them for the world, we hardly ever argue and I love them more than anyone, when I've left home and maybe have my own family I will still spend loads of time with my parents. To be honest I think when I'm about 30 I'll still call them mummy and daddy lol