access to son

[debT]

My son has a month old baby but has now split from his mother. She says we cannot have him over Xmas unless he just goes there to see him. Where do we stand?

[bednobs]

is there a court order? is your son on the birth certificate? are they married?

[daffy654]

I can understand her not wanting to be away from her 4 week old baby over Christmas,why is there an issue over you going to see the baby at her house?

[debT]

Yes son is on birth certificate. They are only 18 and 17 and both live at home were staying equally at each house but she gone back home now. We only want him for afternoon. not expecting him to stay overnight without her. We cannot all go to her house there would be too much of an atmosphere!!!!!!!!

[Jillius]

Can't she just come to your house with the baby for a few hours ?

[zzxxee]

well as its his first xmas and hes only 4 weeks old mum is probably very protective maybe you could comprimise and have him boxing day afternoon??

[bednobs]

well why can't your son just go then and spend time with the baby? Christmas is only 1 day (2 at the most) and a 4 week od is hardly going to realise the significance that adults place on being together at christmas, or be excited by presents, or eat christmas dinner, so in essence its like any other day to them (if not to you), so just see the baby on another day.

And for more longer term your son needs to sort out an access schedule

[cazzrob]

my son and his girlfriend split up, and hav a one year old son whos my pride and joy, luckily i now get on great with the ex gf, but when we went thu a "hairy" patch b4, i did actually look up on tinternet about grandparents rights, and apparently, as a paternal grandparent i have no rights at all. maybe you should try striking up a good relationship with ur sons ex. your son certainly has rights to see his baby, maybe the ex is a bit wary of leaving the little one so young. the easiest thing to do is just be amicable and hopefully, the ex will too, as theres nothing worse than a poor baby being used as a pawn as my grandson was in the beginning. good luck and hope u see the little one over the festive period.xxx

[billbobaggin]

Hi, be careful it is really, really hard with a baby and I cant imagine what its like to be 17 with a baby. Do 'whatever' is necessary to maintain a positive relationship with your sons ex. That way she might be confident enough to call on you to have the baby without her worrying that your influence might be in some way negative. This is a really hard time for you all and everyones emotions wil be being tested. Take your time and think whats best for the baby (probably parents, and their families, that get on even if they're not together). Best wishes for all your futures:-)

[onlyme26]

hello,

i hate these situations as its always the dad that gets left out BUT....

if it was me i would have done exactly the same! its such a protective age 4 months, i would never have been away from my little girl at that age,

obviously xmas has past now, but i wouldnt go in all guns blasing, i think her inviting your son round was a nice thing to do and it means he gets to see his child, i remember when i had my little girl, me and my partner were young at the time and we had a fall out for about 4-5 months from me being pregnant to the baby being a few months old and i remember him phoning up and asking to have the baby for the day!!! i cried for hours!! i felt so insecure and couldnt bear her to be away for the day! she was new born!!
luckerly he understood and came to my house and we got back together, know chance of them getting back it there?????? me and my fella had a good few rocky years, we were only 18 when we had our first!!
but 8 years later still going strong and other on the way lol

anyway back to the point! lol be patient with her, it is hard to go through pregnancy and a break up so soon after, she probabily feels very insecure.

xx

[terambulan]

Neice has just had same & tries to involve reluctant dad. Daresay she may have similar g-parents whinge soon.

Bluddy well close the door on reluctant dads and concentrate on new generation! Your fault for their useless upbringing!

[Beanmistriss]

I don't think they said anywhere that he was a reluctant Dad, just that they had split up?