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Commitment??

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SazzyC0 | 19:06 Sun 04th Jan 2009 | Relationships & Dating
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I have been with my fella for about 10 months, we are together all the time and act as BF and GF, going out etc but for some reason he doesn't want to confirm this.
My friend discreetly asked him last night for me what was going on and he said that he doesnt want to be together like that as he doesnt want to be told what to do!
I am thinking of having a word tomorrow and saying that its not going anywhere and I want to find someone who actually wants to be with me.
Are there any blokes out there who have any idea why this is???
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Please... if any men are out there that can help me understand I would really appreciate it.......
It means that, whilst he's obviously fond of you, he doesn't care enough about you to want to spend the rest of his life with you - or not yet anyway. Why the rush? You've not even been together for a year yet !

What kind of relationship do you have anyway? I get the impression that perhaps it's very casual? If you've never expressed an interest to move things on another level, how is your fella supposed to know?
Question Author
We are together everyday, either at mine or his, cook meals for each other all the time, watch films and all that.
Sounds like so many modern men, they want the sex without the committment. If he genuinely feels this way, then you are just wasting your time.

Your situation could drag on for years, with you living in hope that it will be a real relationship, then at some point, he will up and leave.

He really needs to be honest with you and if he doesn't see you as a serious partner, then he should do the right thing and let you go, so you can meet someone who wants the same things as you.
Maybe it is time you both sat down and actually talked about where you see the relationship headed.

Although if you are together as a couple then I dont see what the problem with him confirming it is, because your allready doing it if that makes sense.

Im a bloke and ive tried to put myself in your fellas shoes and I would act like he is because.......

1. Im scared of commitment, getting hurt.
2. When you CONFIRM to the world that your a couple much like getting married things tend to sometimes sizzle out. Maybe he wants to avoid that.
3. If I dont say that Im with someone then my mind/conscience is at ease if i meet other women.
4. You might be making a major issue out of it.

Best thing though is ask.
I agree with Velvetee, I've been there myself. Having said that it was six of one and half a dozen of the other.
Question Author
I finished it now, we obviously want different things and I was not happy with the situation or I wouldn't even be asking for advice I suppose. Think it's for the best. Thanx
He didn't want to confirm he was dating you, sounds like hes been telling someone hes only friends with you and he might have his eye on someone else. usually a man is worried someone else will find out. Your better off, hope your doing well. 10 months a long time though.

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